XtremePlace Forum

Our Galaxy => Planet General => Topic started by: wizardofoz on August 28, 2011, 12:45

Title: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 28, 2011, 12:45
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a w@nk. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You want to stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.

Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Charles says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going.

Black bloke comes home to find his son sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. "What are you so happy about?" he asked. "I just shagged the girl next door" he says proudly. "Well done son. I hope you were wearing something." "Yup" he replied. "A balaclava."

I've just watched the Simpsons and realized it's a load of bollocks. Who would put a load of funny yellow people in charge of running a nuclear power station?

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops. Although they do make me look a right Queen, Says Stephen.

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

I thought the wife would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out I got it all wrong and the program's called Fact Hunt.

The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!

Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone. Girl replies, those are our opening times you daft twat.

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of whiteout. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: MatJenin on August 29, 2011, 10:07
Someone sent me this one...

 It appears that the same things that bug us now, have bugged others for
the past 2000+ years. What this country needs are more unemployed
politicians.
         -Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

 "If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the
newspaper you are misinformed."
         -Mark Twain

 Suppose you were an idiot.
 And suppose you were a member of Parliament....
 But then I repeat myself.
        -Mark Twain

 I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a
man, standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
         -Winston Churchill

 A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support
of Paul.
         - George Bernard Shaw

 A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt
he proposes to pay off with your money..
         -G Gordon Liddy

 Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on
what to have for dinner.
     -James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

 Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in
rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
     -Douglas Casey

 Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys
to teenage boys.
     -P..J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian


 Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavours to
live at the expense of everybody else.
     -Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

 Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases:
 If it moves, tax it.
 If it keeps moving, regulate it.
 And
 If it stops moving, subsidize it.
     -Ronald Reagan (1986)


 I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
         -Will Rogers


 If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it's free!
         -P.J. O'Rourke


 In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as
possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
         -Voltaire (1764)


 Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean Politics
won't take an interest in you!
         -Pericles (430 B.C.)


 No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in
session.
         -Mark Twain (1866)

 Talk is cheap...except when Parliament does it.
         -Unknown


 The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at
one end and no responsibility at the other.
         -Ronald Reagan


 The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
 The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
         -Winston Churchill


 The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin.
          -Mark Twain


 The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill
the world with fools.
         -Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

 A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough
to take everything you have.
         -Thomas Jefferson
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on August 29, 2011, 11:08
Mark Twain wouldnt use Member of Parliament :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on August 29, 2011, 12:51
True,

I believe the quote should be:

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: homersimpson on September 05, 2011, 15:21
I man came across a genie. The genie says you can have whatever you want but your mother in law gets double what you get. The man tells the Genie I want a million dollars and beat me till I am half dead.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Pingu on September 05, 2011, 16:21
I liked "Fact Hunt".

When is it on?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on September 06, 2011, 12:13
Here is why S&P downgraded the US credit rating.

• U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
• Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000
• New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000
• National debt: $14,271,000,000,000
• Recent budget cut: $ 38,500,000,000
 
Now let’s remove 8 zeros and pretend it’s a household budget.

• Annual family income: $21,700
• Money the family spent: $38,200
• New debt on the credit card: $16,500
• Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710
• Total budget cuts: $385
 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Pingu on September 06, 2011, 17:09
...brings things into perspective, doesn't it... :o
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on September 07, 2011, 10:50
Taken from Facebook wall postings:

   The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my truck waiting for us to go deer hunting, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have our feeders set to go off in thirty minutes. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'
The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."
So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"
The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him! "



   Dad buys a Lie Detector Robot which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it. Son where were you today? At school the son replies. Robot slaps him! Ok at a friends watching a dvd. What dvd? Dad asked. "Toy Story" Robot slaps him again. Ok a porno cries the son! Dad yells WHAT! When I was your age, we didnt know what porn was! Robot slaps dad. Mom laughing hahaha. He's definitely your son. Robot slaps mom!


   You are on a crowded bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. You let go about 5 strong and loud ones back to back. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember.....You've been listening to your iPod the whole time.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on September 07, 2011, 10:58
This took me a while to get:

Cop sees a black guy dancing on a Ford.

He radios HQ: "Black guy dancing on a Ford."

HQ radios back: "This is unacceptable language. Please rephrase in politically correct terms"

Cop: Errr.... Zulu... Tango... Sierra

:D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: chewed on September 07, 2011, 11:04
This took me a while to get:

Cop sees a black guy dancing on a Ford.

He radios HQ: "Black guy dancing on a Ford."

HQ radios back: "This is unacceptable language. Please rephrase in politically correct terms"

Cop: Errr.... Zulu... Tango... Sierra

:D

er, this is really a slow day, but i still don't get it...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: etnt on September 07, 2011, 11:06
er, this is really a slow day, but i still don't get it...
Zulu (black) Tango (dance) Sierra (a Ford model)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on September 07, 2011, 11:07
Black guy... Zulu

Dancing.. Tango

Ford... Sierra

I know.. isn't as funny when you explain it like that.

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: chewed on September 07, 2011, 11:28

ha ha.... ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 07, 2011, 11:55
Copy that radio :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Pingu on September 07, 2011, 12:10
Black guy... Zulu

Dancing.. Tango

Ford... Sierra

I know.. isn't as funny when you explain it like that.



perhaps he's too young to remember the Sierra...? ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on September 07, 2011, 22:14
Ha ha!

But we don't use that letter system over here so perhaps it's less for locals. Anyone used to watch the Bill? Da, dee, da, dee, dee, da, daa, daa, daa-a, da :)
Title: Wizard : is this how you open durian>?
Post by: DizzyD on September 08, 2011, 11:29
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/307249_194675883932883_100001714170407_463470_457947_n.jpg)
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on September 08, 2011, 11:32
i have never seen it like this before ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Pingu on September 08, 2011, 11:47
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversations. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend to spella Mississippi."

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on September 10, 2011, 00:56
More from FB wall postings:

Father & son went hunting together for the 1st time. The father said "Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I'll be across the field".
A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream & ran back to his son asking what's wrong?
"I told you to be quiet" he said.
The son said, "Look I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet & quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the 2 chipmunks crawled up my pant legs & said 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' I panicked!"


My Mom taught me:
Religion ............... "You better pray that comes out of the carpet"
Logic ...................."Because I said so, that's why"
Irony....................."Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"
Wisdom................ "When you get to my age you'll understand"
Justice .................."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!"


An Alabama State Highway Patrolman made a traffic stop on an elderly lady just east of Montgomery. He asked for her driver's liscense, proof of insurance and registration. In the paper work he found a conceal carry permit.
He asked if she had a weapon.
She said,"I have a .45 in the glove box."
He asked,"Any other weapons?"
"Yes, a 9mm Glock in the console and a .38 Special in my purse."
The Trooper asked, "Lady, what are you afraid of?"
She said,"Not a damn thing."
Title: Re: Wizard : is this how you open durian>?
Post by: wizardofoz on September 10, 2011, 01:15
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/307249_194675883932883_100001714170407_463470_457947_n.jpg)
 ;D ;D ;D

wow... looks like a CT scan .... awesome
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on September 13, 2011, 14:39
More pilfering from another forum :P



Year to date statistics on airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security:






Terrorist Plots Discovered 0

Transvestites 133

Hernias 1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases 3,112
Enlarged Prostates 8,249

Breast Implants 59,350

Natural Blondes 3
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on September 14, 2011, 12:20
A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport.

 A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an

off-duty flight attendant, so he decides to have a go at picking her

up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby hopefully impressing her greatly

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto:

'We love to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:

 'Winning the hearts of the world'.

 Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

 Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:

 'Going beyond expectations'.

 The woman looks at him sternly and says:

 'What the f**k do you want?'

 'Ah!'  he says, sitting back with a smile on his face .....

 "Qantas".

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on September 23, 2011, 09:52
From FB Wall posts:

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with him and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and he said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
He taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so he can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.
Your daughter, Judith...
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on September 26, 2011, 00:19
From FB Wall posts:

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. " How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
... "OK," she said.
"Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know sh1t?"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on September 26, 2011, 00:28
hehe, I think that's the censored version. It shouldn't be nuts... it should be sh!t.   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on September 29, 2011, 10:03
hehe, I think that's the censored version. It shouldn't be nuts... it should be sh!t.   ;D ;D ;D
Duly amended. ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on September 29, 2011, 10:04
More stuff from FB wall posts:

A guy and a girl meet at a bar.

They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place..

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.

The girl has been watching him and says:

"You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says: "Yes .... How did you figure that out?"

"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing leads to another and they make love.

After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with an inflated ego, says: "Sure - I'm a good dentist.. How did you figure that out?"

The girl replies:.....

"Didn't feel a thing."

---------------------------------------------------------

Obama wakes up one night, there is George Washington's ghost! He says, " George how can I help this country?"
Washington replies, "Be honest with the people like I was!"

Obama goes back to sleep and awakes again. This time it's Thomas Jefferson's ghost! He says "Tom how can I help this country?"
Jefferson says, "Love the constitution like I did!"

Waking up again there is Abe Lincoln's ghost, he says "Abe how can I help this country?"
Abe replies, "Go see a play."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Two Statues
Two statues are in a perk for over thirty years and all day long they just look at each others naked bodies. One day an angel comes down and grants them life for 30 minutes.
The two statues look at each other and the woman statue says "Should we?" to which the man replies "Yes".
They then both run off in to the bushes where there is a lot of giggling going on. The angel gives a smile as she knows what they are up to. After fifteen minutes the statues return with a cheeky smile on their faces.
The angel says to them "You still have fifteen minutes left"
So the man says to the woman "Want to do it again?" and the woman replies "Yes, But this time you hold the birds head while i crap on it."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: homersimpson on September 29, 2011, 12:36
Or this one as well

A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as real
Rugby player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place.

They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he
has a tattoo that says REEBOK.

"What's that for?" the lady questions.

"Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo,
and Reebok pays me."

Then the man takes off his trousers, and on his leg, he has a tattoo
that says NIKE.

'What's that ?' the lady questions again.

"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on
TV."

Then the man drops his underwear and on his thingy he has a tattoo that
says AIDS.

The lady screams: "Don't tell me you have AIDS!"

The man replies: "No, no...!!! Calm down...!!!
It will say ADIDAS in a minute."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on October 02, 2011, 02:11
(http://mirror-in-bom1.gallery.hd.org/_exhibits/bizarre/_more2006/_more10/family-planning-use-rear-entrance-1-DHD.bmp)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 02, 2011, 23:47
Tha Rastaman one goes...

Then the man drops his underwear and on his thingy he has a tattoo that
says .

The lady screams: "Don't tell me you have girlfriend/wife called Wendy!"

The man replies: "No, no...!!! Calm down...!!!....






















In a minute it will say "Welcome to Jamaica - Have a nice day"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on October 04, 2011, 09:53
Very direct translation.

(http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm314/chorchuang/veg.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on October 04, 2011, 11:11
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MB-AQETnxjo/TY9ZCSQJROI/AAAAAAAAAw4/jlGtqk02x48/s1600/Rodrigues+-+anechoic+dealer.jpeg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on October 05, 2011, 17:21
Lemme add to that:

(http://forums.klipsch.com/forums/storage/4/1221201/Rodrigues%20-%20boombox.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on October 05, 2011, 17:24
Anybody you know? LMAO!!!  ;D ;D ;D

(http://forums.klipsch.com/forums/storage/4/1233854/Rodrigues%20-%20speaker%20salesman.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on October 07, 2011, 08:44
Don't you just hate people who turns out to an exit at the last minute, across three lanes ...

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150335826257866#embed

... got a chuckle
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: homersimpson on October 07, 2011, 09:22
I laughed till I had tears in my eyes

http://www.wimp.com/hilariousdan/
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Pingu on October 07, 2011, 09:54
I laughed till I had tears in my eyes

http://www.wimp.com/hilariousdan/

LOL!! this had me so in stitches at my desk!

(that my boss is now preparing my dismissal notice....)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 07, 2011, 11:15
Don't you just hate people who turns out to an exit at the last minute, across three lanes ...

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150335826257866#embed

... got a chuckle

That looked more like a flat tire (burst) then exit stage left...but I guess hard to tell
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: vajrasattvasg on October 07, 2011, 12:01
mind your language from the 70s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv05zFrM52s

:D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on October 07, 2011, 12:37
That looked more like a flat tire (burst) then exit stage left...but I guess hard to tell

I dunno, no tire shreds seen and the car brakes before and during the wild manoeuvre.

Really does look like "@#$@, missed the exit", brake, turn (just realised the car is going to fast) and "hold on"!

My tyre has burst before when I was going 120km/h- not fun but it didn't throw me off course much.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 13, 2011, 18:24
Always something farnee here http://damnyouautocorrect.com/ and the other sites at the top of the page too...some not for the kids :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on October 17, 2011, 09:39
This is taken off from the Rocky Mountain Audiofest 2011.  ;D

(http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd370/pezacolypse/b98ff968.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 17, 2011, 10:48
Not the emotiva stand then  :-[
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on October 28, 2011, 10:45
More from Facebook:

A Bricklayer’s Accident Report...
Dear Sir,
In response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building.

When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Then my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,
XXXXXX
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 28, 2011, 15:18
The Bricklayer is classed as a Darwin Award Urban legend IIRC from a long time back... but a classic... kak myself everytime I read it so badly so that I dont read it anymore. ???
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 30, 2011, 09:23
From a Teacher - short and to the point:
 
In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who
send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capitalisation. For
those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following
statement:
 
"Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a
horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
 
Is everyone clear on that?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 30, 2011, 09:24
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
 
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
 
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.  He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
 
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
 
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
 
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
 
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
 
What would YOU do?
 
What Lancelot chose is below.
 
BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.
 
OKAY?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
 
Now....what is the moral to this story?
 
 
Scroll down
 
 
 
 
 
The moral is.....
 
 
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Quest on October 30, 2011, 09:31
interesting way of spinning the old tale.. :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 23, 2011, 08:49
http://m.wimp.com/brakinghard/
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on January 18, 2012, 09:41
From a Facebook posting:

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
(This one is too funny not to forward!)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.

'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess, and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, *itch!'
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on January 18, 2012, 13:26

A snack maker, marketing its product to pubs, nightclubs and other entertainment venues, is calling its snack Nuckin Futs, after getting the green light from Australian regulators.
 
The Trade Marks Examiner initially decided Nuckin Futs was scandalous and inappropriate and rejected a trademark application.
 
The company's lawyers had argued the four-letter word implied in the product name by juxtapositioning the words' initials, is a normal part of Australian speech and therefore not offensive.
 

That argument may not have been accepted.
 
But the trademark was eventually allowed on condition the Queensland owner does not market the product to children


Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on January 18, 2012, 14:40
The company's lawyers had argued the four-letter word implied in the product name by juxtapositioning the words' initials, is a normal part of Australian speech and therefore not offensive.

I wonder... I've come across the term "no wockin' furries, mate", so perhaps it really is an Oz thing?
Title: The best reverse sensor in the world
Post by: bigtree on January 24, 2012, 09:41
Something to make you ho hoi sum in the new year ~

Some dude testing his newly installed reverse sensor~

http://www.youtube.com/v/RBfHQfPOvMs&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: akdwivedi on January 24, 2012, 11:18
Something to make you ho hoi sum in the new year ~

Some dude testing his newly installed reverse sensor~

http://www.youtube.com/v/RBfHQfPOvMs&fs=1

lovely.. what does it take to install this sensor.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on January 26, 2012, 00:59
(http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b272/kensolee/2089221_700b-1-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on January 26, 2012, 04:16
Edzachary's disease

A woman who has not been able to get a date or men to get interested in her for all her life decided to seek professional help. She visited a western doctor who examined her thoroughly, top to bottom but could not find anything wrong with her physically. Still frustrated she visited another western doctor for a second opinion. Again the doctor examined her and told her that he could not find anything amiss and could not understand why she is shunned by all men. A friend then suggested she visits a chinese physician. The chinese physician examined her and then said " Ah I know the problem why you cannot find a man. You have edzachary's disease." "Oh my God! what is that Is that serious? Can I be cured? to which the doctor replied "Sorry you cannot be cured. Edzachary's disease is when your face looks edzachary like your arsh!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on January 26, 2012, 08:18
Since someone posted starwars...check out stormtrooper's off day with kid (clone).

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/403357_221362694619387_192917177463939_473769_1856322571_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on January 28, 2012, 19:08
wait for the end :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHFdYic6vuw

don't know why but this turns me on  :-[

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlXp1tLxrko&feature=related
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on January 30, 2012, 08:23
Human Speed camera ~

http://www.youtube.com/v/zFQPn7W34B8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 30, 2012, 11:14
I wonder... I've come across the term "no wockin' furries, mate", so perhaps it really is an Oz thing?

Have been saying this same thing...well 'no wucking furries' for ever since I can remember back in oz in the 80's
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on February 08, 2012, 11:41
A bear and a rabbit were taking a sh*t in the woods.

The bear turned to the rabbit and asked, 'Do you have any problem of sh*t sticking to your fur?'

'No,' replied the rabbit.

The bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


As told by eddie murphy on Delirious :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AvPip on February 08, 2012, 12:40
A bear and a rabbit were taking a sh*t in the woods.

The bear turned to the rabbit and asked, 'Do you have any problem of sh*t sticking to your fur?'

'No,' replied the rabbit.

The bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


As told by eddie murphy on Delirious :)

GOLD !
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on February 09, 2012, 18:30
I thought this is funny although I don't think it is meant to be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uy09cXwsz6w****
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on February 09, 2012, 19:19
I thought this is funny although I don't think it is meant to be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uy09cXwsz6w****

wow kudos to these punjab bros for their daring. Funny part was when one of them cringed b4 being smashed.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: akdwivedi on February 09, 2012, 21:56
I thought this is funny although I don't think it is meant to be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uy09cXwsz6w****

crazy.. I always wonder how they do it.. have seen one live.. after 2 minutes, I closed my eyes. Could not see it any longer.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on February 14, 2012, 13:53
NUDIST COLONY

On his first day there, a man takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'

Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts.....

Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer.

'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says.

The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the £500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.'

The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 88 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!'
 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on February 14, 2012, 17:17
I love this

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-zYBkJB2KyGw/TzoGyNysrGI/AAAAAAAAEjs/Uu3sHqU7tG4/s483/photo.jpeg)

it's funny on so many levels
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on February 14, 2012, 17:19
I wonder... I've come across the term "no wockin' furries, mate", so perhaps it really is an Oz thing?

Feb 14 somebody said it's Cupid Stunt day ;)

(these are called spoonerisms)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on February 14, 2012, 17:26
I love this

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-zYBkJB2KyGw/TzoGyNysrGI/AAAAAAAAEjs/Uu3sHqU7tG4/s483/photo.jpeg)

it's funny on so many levels

ROFL!!!!!!! Took me some time to remember the dog's name. But after that it was really ROFL!!!!!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on February 14, 2012, 18:15
^^ I love this too  ;D. I know it eludes to Wizard of Oz and I have the movie on DVD and BD. However, embarrassingly I have not watched either. I know e doggie's lines is from Africa and then it struck me that it's name must be ....  ;D

Darn good one!!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 14, 2012, 20:16
If you google wizard of oz and dark side of the moon, you can have some fun if you have the movie and album to play together.

Maybe there is a YouTube of the combined result.?..found it...

http://v14.nonxt1.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id=456a3484d0f6d1c1&itag=7&source=uploaded_content&begin=0&ratebypass=yes&title=The+Dark+Side+of+OZ&ip=0.0.0.0&ipbits=0&expire=1329243425&sparams=ip,ipbits,expire,id,itag,source,ratebypass,title&signature=6A69A4145226FC7C25D3DCF7054BE52865152BF7.12E850D696C940B2B634D6BB3A3B24DD3927D558&key=ck1&redirect_counter=1

Hard to embed with ipad
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on February 15, 2012, 10:03
I love this

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-zYBkJB2KyGw/TzoGyNysrGI/AAAAAAAAEjs/Uu3sHqU7tG4/s483/photo.jpeg)

it's funny on so many levels

Absolutely hilarious!  Although I only get one level of the joke...

If you google wizard of oz and dark side of the moon, you can have some fun if you have the movie and album to play together.

I once found a torrent of it, and have watched it.  Bit overblown, I think, the alleged coincidences.  IIRC it's called the Dark Side of Oz, or something similar. 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on February 15, 2012, 10:54
Aboslute hilarious!  Although I only get one level of the joke...

"absolute hilarious" means you get level 2 (the dog's name is Toto) LOL
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: huanges on February 15, 2012, 12:54
Thought of this while travelling to work today. Not sure if anyone came up with it before but here goes :

Question - what do you call someone who has a degree from our local National University of Spore?

*************************************************************************************



Answer - ANUS graduate.  ;D

My apologies in advance if anyone took offence. For what its worth, i graduated from NUS  :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on February 15, 2012, 15:37
"absolute hilarious" means you get level 2 (the dog's name is Toto) LOL


I thought that's the one and only level of the joke? 

Still makes me laugh when I look at it, though.  Nice one!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on February 17, 2012, 22:29
Something's wrong here...

(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-kAp_NQMn-CM/Tzx_PDdP86I/AAAAAAAAGls/z2YY5ZT-d7M/s490/datdog.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on February 20, 2012, 09:42
Quote
author=SiriuslyCold link=topic=100352.msg762320#msg762320 date=1329488998]
Something's wrong here...

(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-kAp_NQMn-CM/Tzx_PDdP86I/AAAAAAAAGls/z2YY5ZT-d7M/s490/datdog.jpg)


LOL  ;D It's so cute and sure looks like one hairy Johnson  ;D

Is it yours?  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on February 20, 2012, 12:35
Saw the photo on FB too. Had a good laugh. ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on February 20, 2012, 12:55
LOL  ;D It's so cute and sure looks like one hairy Johnson  ;D

Is it yours?  ;D

no I live in an apartment and can't keep dogs :P

LMAO!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on February 20, 2012, 13:42
Something's wrong here...

(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-kAp_NQMn-CM/Tzx_PDdP86I/AAAAAAAAGls/z2YY5ZT-d7M/s490/datdog.jpg)


Made to measure Sir?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: SiriuslyCold on February 22, 2012, 22:41
the trouble with detachable stuff..

(http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lphtpjCFJ01qbvy21o1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on March 15, 2012, 11:59
One from Singapore and the other from Australia


Who Employs These Idiots…A True Story

FROM SINGAPORE
A man living in the Geylang area-Singapore received a bill from the PUB
in March for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.
He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill
and threw that one away too. The following month the PUB sent
him a very nasty note stating that they were going to cancel his gas
line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return mail.
He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error
and they would take care of it. The following month he decided that
it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring
that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this
ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.
He called the PUB  who apologized for the computer error once
again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a
bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that
having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another
mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as
their word and sort the problem out.
The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he
had 10 days to pay his account or the PUB would have to take steps
to recover the debt.
Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the  PUB at their
own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly
processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he
now owed the PUB  nothing at all.
A week later, the manager of the Geylang Branch  of the   “………….Bank called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing
writing check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank manager
replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing
software to fail. The bank could therefore not process ANY checks
they had received from ANY of their customers that day because the
check for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash.
The following month the man received a letter from the PUB
claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $ 0.00
and unless he sent a check by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt.
At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against
the PUB.   It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks
at the local courthouse that he was not joking. They subsequently
helped him in the drafting of statements which were considered
substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle.
The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Singapore and the outcome was this:
The  PUB was ordered to:

[1] Immediately rectify their computerized accounts system or Show
Cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a
higher court for consideration under Company Law.

[2] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by the man.

[3] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by all the …………Bank clients
whose checks had been bounced on the day our friend's had been processed.

[4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and

[5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period

March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer.

And all this over $0.00

This story can also be viewed on the Magistrate Court’s website   - Who employs these idiots?

Remember, these "people" walk among us and breathe the same air we do.

FROM AUSTRALIA
The Australian Government and the NSW Forestry Service were presenting an alternative to NSW sheep farmers for controlling the dingo population.

It seems that after years of the sheep farmers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the Labour Government (Peter Garrett - Environmental Minister), the NSW Forestry Service and the Greens tree-huggers had a 'more humane' solution.

What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males would then be castrated, - and let loose again.

Therefore the dingo population would be controlled.

This was ACTUALLY proposed to the NSW Sheep Farmers Association.

All of the sheep farmers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.   

Finally, one of the old boys in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, 'Mr Garrett, son, I don't think you understand our problem,-

-  'those dingo's ain't f*cking our sheep, -  they're eatin' 'em.'


Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on March 15, 2012, 17:27
"Cute" story about the PUB, but probably not true.  I've read the same story before, at least up to the part of paying the $0.00 bill by writing a cheque for $0.00, elsewhere.  The latter part, relating to the lawsuit, couldn't be true since the clerks in the courthouse (and nobody calls it the "courthouse" in Singapore, that's an American term) would not assist in "drafting statements" which are "substantive evidence", and the magistrate's court would not issue an order to PUB saying it could refer the matter to "a higher court for consideration" -- it wouldn't be necessary, you either comply with the order or you are in contempt of court.

But funny story, nonetheless.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on March 15, 2012, 18:18
Yup, funny story but doubt it's true.
Has anyone every won a lawsuit against a GLC? Any Singaporean who sees that line would have doubts already.   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Pingu on March 17, 2012, 12:11
happens often enough, actually. Even against the government... Depends on the nature of the lawsuit.. and the merits of the case.

and I thought PUB disappeared before the age of computers... ;) ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on March 24, 2012, 00:37
Cokkies anyone....from stutterPpperidge Farm

(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl12.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on March 30, 2012, 10:27
http://www.youtube.com/v/bqRn81WFUr4?version=3&feature=player_popout
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 19, 2012, 23:47
At the end of Idol tonight...RS will not be happy :P

(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl35.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on April 24, 2012, 12:42
"Cute" story about the PUB, but probably not true.  I've read the same story before, at least up to the part of paying the $0.00 bill by writing a cheque for $0.00, elsewhere.  The latter part, relating to the lawsuit, couldn't be true since the clerks in the courthouse (and nobody calls it the "courthouse" in Singapore, that's an American term) would not assist in "drafting statements" which are "substantive evidence", and the magistrate's court would not issue an order to PUB saying it could refer the matter to "a higher court for consideration" -- it wouldn't be necessary, you either comply with the order or you are in contempt of court.

But funny story, nonetheless.
It does happen. Never underestimate the stupidity of govt bodies! From the ST today

When retiree Steven Ooi opened a letter last Saturday asking him to pay his property tax, he was stunned to discover that the amount he owed was one cent.

The letter was sent to him by the Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore (Iras). It added: Pay up or there would be a 5 per cent penalty fee.

Mr Ooi, 75, was baffled, but he shrugged and paid up. That same day, he wrote out a cheque for one cent and sent it to the tax authority.

He said he mailed the cheque because he was curious to know what would happen next.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on April 25, 2012, 14:43
It does happen. Never underestimate the stupidity of govt bodies! From the ST today

When retiree Steven Ooi opened a letter last Saturday asking him to pay his property tax, he was stunned to discover that the amount he owed was one cent.

The letter was sent to him by the Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore (Iras). It added: Pay up or there would be a 5 per cent penalty fee.

Mr Ooi, 75, was baffled, but he shrugged and paid up. That same day, he wrote out a cheque for one cent and sent it to the tax authority.

He said he mailed the cheque because he was curious to know what would happen next.

That's the kicker: he's already paid up.  The initial 'demand' was just a form letter, where the computer can't distinguish between $0.01 outstanding and $1,000.00 outstanding.  What would have been interesting is if he'd called IRAS to ask, "now what?", which he didn't, he just paid up.

Even if he just ignored it and the next was another standard-form demand, or worse a summons, I suspect that once he'd flagged the matter to an actual human being, the matter would have been dropped.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on May 05, 2012, 15:27

Back when Vietnam was still separated as North and South, the president of South Vietnam then was President Thieu.

As he was getting a lot of unfavorable treatment from his own country's news agencies, he invited Tara Singh, a respectable senior journalist from Malaysia, to brief him about the setup of Bernama. Bernama is the acronym of BERita NAsional MAlaysia - The National News Agency of Malaysia.

After Tara Singh had briefed the president about Bernama, the president was impressed. He declared that it was time for him to set up his own Bernama, to counter all the criticism he has been receiving lately.

Tara Singh politely said, "But Mr. President, the name 'Bernama' is already used by Malaysia ..... maybe you should chose another name." "Of course, you're right! I shall name it after myself then. It will be known as 'Thieunama' !!" said the president. Tara Singh nearly choked on that!

"Ahh, Mr President that may not be the best name. To the Cantonese speaking people, that name is a four-letter word means mother f****r" said Tara .

The president was touched by the journalist's sincerity, "Thank you for being so honest with me. You deserve recognition for that. Why don't we give the news agency a name formed from our names. How about 'ThieunaSingh' ? "


Tara almost fainted ........
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on May 05, 2012, 15:56
Wahahaha good one bro dsj88!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on May 05, 2012, 16:10
What's Thieunasingh?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on May 06, 2012, 00:18
What's Thieunasingh?

same as Thieunama

if i am mistaken canto gurus pls enlighten...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 01, 2012, 16:44
(http://www.faceless.co.za/comics/faceless.670.jpg)

(http://www.faceless.co.za/comics/faceless.667.jpg)

(http://www.faceless.co.za/comics/faceless.628.jpg)

(http://www.faceless.co.za/comics/faceless.20100913.292.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on July 27, 2012, 07:33
Finally, the true story as told by Hillary Clinton to world leaders.....

Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice.

The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon.           

The President voiced his concerns to his Chief-of-Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice.

Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief-of-Staff,

but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef.

The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little funny.

By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom.
         
Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse.

By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.

He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened.

As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his

trousers around his knees.

As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice .....

"Sack my cook"

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on July 27, 2012, 09:21
;D

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 30, 2012, 17:11
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand..
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.


A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a nuts.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on September 11, 2012, 13:17
A Chinese immigrant went hunting one day in Ontario, Canada and bagged three ducks.
He put them in the back of his pickup truck and was about todrive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like
Chinaman.
The game warden ordered the Chinese to show his hunting license and the
Chinese pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one
of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, " this duck ain't from Ontario.
This is a Quebec duck.  You got a Quebec hunting license, boy..?? "
The Chinese reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the secondduck, sniffed its butt,
and said " this ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba.  You got a
Manitoba license..?? "
The Chinese reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its
butt,  and said " this ain't no Manitoba duck.
This duck's from Nova Scotia.  You got a Nova Scotia hunting license..?? "
Again the Chinese reached into his wallet keeping calm and patience and
brought out a Nova Scotia license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at
the Chinese
" just where the hell are you from..?? "
The Chinese smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants showing his
 butt and said,
" you tell me, you are the expert. "
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 15, 2012, 01:36
http://www.youtube.com/v/QzXM58qR1Es&feature=youtube_gdata_player&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on September 15, 2012, 08:51
Hahaha damn funny bro wiz!
Just desserts for pissing off the frog.
Which reminds me that I have not eaten claypot frog porridge for a while!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on September 15, 2012, 08:54
Is that a frog or bullfrog?

Don't frogs have a long tongue instead of jumping to bite something (didn't know bullfrogs did that either).

Damn funny though I suspect it didn't hurt much :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 15, 2012, 09:50
No idea what type of frog...not about to experiment to find out either.

It's funny however that my dog can't recognize my wife's voice or image on Skype, maybe frogs are dumber and can be fooled more easily than my dog. She hates apple tv menus tho, and barks like mad when my wife is searching for things...not just at our place either she does it on all appletv menus even at friends places...I'll have to test it with atv on the projector and see if that has the same effect.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 15, 2012, 10:11
I made it....5000 posts and counting


Username: wizardofozPosts: 5000 (3.218 per day)Personal Text: Dont take life so seriously, nobody gets out aliveAge:N/ALocation:On a planet nearby - I think I can see you in the distance 8)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on September 15, 2012, 10:30
Well done bro  ;D

I can say unreservedly that most, if not all of your posts are constructive and entertaining. Not like those 'up's type which can very quickly cumulate to 4-figure postings

Still a long way to pass DH's 14k+  :o
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on September 15, 2012, 15:23
I made it....5000 posts and counting

Good job, Wiz. And may I say thanks for so many constructive, helpful posts.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 16, 2012, 00:30
I got off to a late start...I think DH was a few years ahead of me  :-X


I do sometimes get a bit sarcastic but for the most part it's fun helping people and meeting those with common interests...especially noising ... Now back to the fun  :o
Title: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on September 16, 2012, 11:34
When I joined I think des was way ahead of me. Isn't he still?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on September 16, 2012, 11:54
When I joined I think des was way ahead of me. Isn't he still?

Aiyah... don't be so modest la  ;D

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/A535632D-8DA5-443D-8F08-980B04532E35-4869-00000424496733BE.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on September 17, 2012, 17:58
Aiyah... don't be so modest la  ;D

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/A535632D-8DA5-443D-8F08-980B04532E35-4869-00000424496733BE.jpg)

I clearly spend too much time on this forum... at #11 and slowly closing in on dbchoong... ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on September 17, 2012, 18:09
Oh crap! I need to spend way less time here
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on September 20, 2012, 10:03
Oh crap! I need to spend way less time here

Wait till u see this piece of stats  8)

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/0A5BDC43-4D56-40DE-9CF8-3B0A268B7538-10453-000008CDC43E28CB_zpscb9b5c7f.jpg)

OMG!  I need to get a life  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 20, 2012, 10:38
I think pete has 2 lives ... one here and one elsewhere heheheh
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dXter on September 20, 2012, 10:50
Just delete ur user and create another one like some others do. :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: arcustic on September 20, 2012, 11:00
Wait till u see this piece of stats  8)

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/0A5BDC43-4D56-40DE-9CF8-3B0A268B7538-10453-000008CDC43E28CB_zpscb9b5c7f.jpg)

OMG!  I need to get a life  ;D

Wow....you guys are the champions.  I do recognise that most of your posts are constructive and valuable to most forumers including myself.  Kudos to all of you. 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: desray on September 20, 2012, 12:05
When I joined I think des was way ahead of me. Isn't he still?

LoL...bro, there is a difference between aggregate postings vs the amount of time spent in the forum lar. :P

During office hours, I seldom visit the forum...only early part in the morning before going to work and evening times for a few more hours. However I do fire up my Tapatalk forum app from time to time during lunch time to catch up with the news, gossips and updates.

Pete and you "literally" resides in this forum we called "Home, truly".

 :D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: arcustic on September 21, 2012, 12:45
Pete and you "literally" resides in this forum we called "Home, truly".

:D

+1   ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on September 23, 2012, 00:02
 :o
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/255504_10151210170445783_725456438_n.jpg)

 ;D
http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2012/08/cpib-lims-kopi-for-real.html
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on September 25, 2012, 20:58
(http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l261/REXDJ/1stclass.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on September 26, 2012, 13:39
Mrs. Donovan was walking  down 
O'Connell  Street in Dublin when 
she  met up with Father Flaherty. 

The  Father said, 'Top o' the mornin'  To  ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan  And 
didn't I marry ye and yer  Hoosband  two years ago?' 

She  replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' 

The  Father asked, 'And be there 
Any  wee little ones yet?' 

She  replied, 'No, not yet, Father.' 

The  Father said, 'Well now, I'm  going to Rome next week  And 

I'll light a fertility candle for ye And  yer hoosband.' 

She  replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father...' 
They  then parted ways.. 

Some  years later they met again. 
The  Father asked, 'Well now, 
Mrs.  Donovan, how are ye these days?' 
She  replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' 
The  Father asked, 'And tell me , 
Have  ye any wee ones yet?' 

She  replied, 'Oh yes, Father! 
Two  sets of twins and six singles, 
Ten  in all!' 

The  Father said, 'That's wonderful! 
And  how is yer loving hoosband doing?' 

She  replied, 'E's gone to Rome 
to  blow out yer fookin' candle
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 28, 2012, 22:45
(dun drink or eat while reading this)THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.
From https://www.facebook.com/ollie.mok/posts/10151064013318263?ref=notif&notif_t=feed_comment_reply (https://www.facebook.com/ollie.mok/posts/10151064013318263?ref=notif&notif_t=feed_comment_reply)


We had a friend over for dinner after which she recited this to us while totally hysterical. I had to sent to my self as I could make out what she was saying for the last half as she was literally ROTFLHAO ... nearly as funny as the Brick Layer of Darwin fame :) ... you should enjoy that one too...google it
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on September 28, 2012, 23:53
That means he put the ice cream back in the freezer afterwards... Strange chap :D

I bet he was on that amazon page again to order some more Ha ha!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on October 26, 2012, 12:41
For those who understand Malay, this is hilarious naming a road like this.

http://onlyatmalaysia.blogspot.sg/2010/10/my-house-street-jalan-puki-mak-ulah.html
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on November 01, 2012, 13:46
I'm not sure this is safe for work or that it's not going to offend some people.

But I thought the production quality was pretty high for a youtube skit

Epic Rap Battles presents Vader vs Hitler

Part Un

http://www.youtube.com/v/AFA-rOls8YA?list=PLQ-7WiWmOuK-55mfcd_tdcvy-57VMCkOW&hl=en_US

Part Deux

http://www.youtube.com/v/CeLrlmV9A-s

There are numerous others.

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 23, 2012, 17:15
It pouring again but someone still got sense of humour

(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl107.jpg)
(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl108.jpg)

You can see why
(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl109.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on November 25, 2012, 18:56
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/644086_552369914778001_1040720127_n.png)

 :) a hedgehog
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on November 27, 2012, 20:22
What's the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on November 27, 2012, 20:30
Shouldn't that be....

What's the difference between humor and odor a fart? Humor is a shift of wit.

 ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on November 27, 2012, 20:54
A fart is the death cry of an imprisoned turd
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on December 02, 2012, 17:33
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/this_urban_jungle/1461894/this_hilarious_video_shows_you_how_singlish_can_save.html

waliao I was seriously lol to this  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on December 23, 2012, 15:17
Please don't be offended if you are Indian or an Arab. All done in good humour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85FHgTGJ79E&feature=share


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcsMDgfyV6I&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on February 05, 2013, 16:05
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=477316048999327
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 07, 2013, 08:20
World economy explained with 2 cows





SOCIALISM






You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM


You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



BUREAUCRATISM


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM


You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



VENTURE CAPITALISM


You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.



A FRENCH CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A SWISS CORPORATION


You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION


You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION


Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION


You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.



A GREEK CORPORATION


You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.
 

     
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on February 07, 2013, 08:46
World economy explained with 2 cows





SOCIALISM






You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM


You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



BUREAUCRATISM


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM


You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



VENTURE CAPITALISM


You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.



A FRENCH CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A SWISS CORPORATION


You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.

You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION


You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION


Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION


You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.



A GREEK CORPORATION


You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.
 

     


LOL very funny and educational. Someone should come out with a Singapore equivalent.

You have 2 cows.

Insert overcrowding metaphor  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 07, 2013, 09:18
Singapore


You have 2cows
Govt turns them into cash cows
You have govt with cash and you have no cows
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on February 07, 2013, 09:42
How about:

You have 2 cows
1 is a member of parliament, the other you call "dear",
Both of them milk you dry.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Junior on February 07, 2013, 11:44
My version:
You have 2 Cows
one is cow PEH
the other is cow BU
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: hotbird on February 07, 2013, 12:02
You have two cows.
The government decides that you should have 7 million cows
You have no room to live and decide to move to another country with your two cows....

Not that funny...
Should be
"You have two cows.
The government decides that they should bring in 7 million cows
Thus you can only keep 2 pieces of LimCheeGuan Bakgua now"

:D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on February 07, 2013, 19:31
https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=393544680722910
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 07, 2013, 22:26
My version:
You have 2 Cows
one is cow PEH
the other is cow BU

;D

How about...

You have two cows.

Both produce lots of milk...

...But after paying the mandatory Cow-Pasture-Fund, GrazSing-Tax, Electronic-pastuRe-Pricing, Foreign-domestic animal Levy, Cow Ownership Entitlement, InCow tax...

You're left with basically nothing.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on February 07, 2013, 22:46
You have 2 cows. 1 small and 1 very huge. U just bot the small one not too long ago because the huge one has been with u for a long time and is getting senile and doesnt have any cow sense. U do yr best to get rid of the huge cow bcos its costing u too much money and heart pain but the majority of yr family (roughly 60%) who also doesnt have much cow sense want the huge cow to remain
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on February 08, 2013, 09:32
I guess this product is only for ladies  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dXter on February 08, 2013, 23:27
 :o

http://www.amazon.com/DVD-Rewinder/dp/B000NK7E7Y
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 09, 2013, 07:40
:o

http://www.amazon.com/DVD-Rewinder/dp/B000NK7E7Y

Must have accessory for those suffering from the Jerome Syndrome  :P

(not a shot across the bow JTL, just joking  ;D)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on February 10, 2013, 00:55
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50A9wjJ40Dk

An oldie but goodie
http://www.youtube.com/v/50A9wjJ40Dk
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on February 10, 2013, 01:01
:o

http://www.amazon.com/DVD-Rewinder/dp/B000NK7E7Y

lol! The comments are hilarious!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 12, 2013, 07:25
New App to help boost your confidence (or not ;D)

http://www.youtube.com/v/KBVj5F1WyZ4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 19, 2013, 15:29
Within hours of the news that Tesco's 'all beef hamburgers' contained 30% horse meat these quips hit the internet..........................................
I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse.....
 
Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?
 
Not entirely sure how Tesco are going to get over this hurdle.
 
Waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my Burger. So I had £5 each way!
 
Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night....  I still have a bit between my teeth.
 
A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco -
her condition is said to be stable.
 
Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn.
 
I've just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer...AND THEY'RE OFF
 
Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.
 
Said to the missus these Tesco burgers given me terrible trots.
 
To beef or not to beef. That is equestrian.
 
A cow walks into a bar. Barman says 'why the long face?' Cow says 'Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!'
 
I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horse d'oeuvres.
 
These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit.
 
Talk about flogging a dead.. agggghhh NO! NO NO NO!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 19, 2013, 15:41
I don't really like these horse jokes so lets put it to the vote, all those in favour say 'aye', all those against say 'neigh.......'


I think one was closed after the horse bolted...sorry missed the first line of the fun....re read it now make more horse sense  :-X
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on February 21, 2013, 10:38
Wifey send this to me.... :'(

(Change the word "Guitar cables" to whatever you've juz bought....)

(http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/c0.0.317.317/p403x403/404547_574667425896425_444484846_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on March 04, 2013, 09:05
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/581729_452146394858591_1523692311_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on March 07, 2013, 11:01
;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on March 08, 2013, 23:05
Man-ual speed camera

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er_Bljks9RI

how do you guys embed hah?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on March 13, 2013, 14:43
More punny stuff from my email:

Puns for the Educated
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.  Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.  Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the King!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
---------------------
2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, . . . and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
---------------------
3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
---------------------
4. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day.
After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
----------------------
5. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register.  His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
----------------------
6. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.
This just goes to prove that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).
-----------------------
7. A sceptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.  When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: pitch bender on March 13, 2013, 18:16
 

  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on March 15, 2013, 08:20
No offence to the FTs but thought this was quite funny:



A Government Minister was doing  a survey on call girls pricing.

He found three such girls in a local pub at Orchard Towers - a China Girl, a Filipina and a Singaporean.

To the China Girl he said, "I am a Minister of Singapore. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you . . .?'

She replied, "With your high ministerial salary it would be $500.00"

To the Filipina the Minister of Singapore, asked the same question.

Her reply was "With our low cost of living in the Philippines it would be $100.00"

The Minister of Singapore then asked the Singaporean the same question

Her reply was . . .

"Mr. Minister, if you can get my skirt up as high as the cost of living here, my panties as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in and keep it rising like the price of COEs and the cost of my apartment, and screw me the way you have been screwing Singaporeans, retirees and NS men, then you can have it for free, like the foreigners . . . !!!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dXter on March 19, 2013, 12:36
http://translate.google.com.sg/?hl=en&tab=wT#en/zh-CN/minister%20mentor

;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on April 08, 2013, 08:37
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/551468_466304230109474_913568973_n.jpg)

... smart smartphone
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 08, 2013, 19:18
THE DEAD COW LECTURE

First-year students at the Georgia Vet School were attending their first
anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery
table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the
class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two
important qualities as a doctor.
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's
body."

For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in
the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go
ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked
out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a
finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone
finished, the Professor looked at them and said,

"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle
finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's
tough but it's even tougher if you don’t pay attention!"

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on April 15, 2013, 20:34
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562512_626455234036135_39795265_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on April 16, 2013, 00:15
Must read.... I borrowed this from a friends post.. from FB.

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on April 16, 2013, 20:41
A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said there had been invented a new machine that would transfer-by kinetic energy a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out.

They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor initially set the pain-transfer level to 10 percent, saying that was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50 percent.

The husband continued feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they returned home they found the milkman dead on the porch.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on April 18, 2013, 21:55
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/522101_10151339145711765_158624768_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 19, 2013, 09:56
Old Testament computing....

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on April 21, 2013, 07:38
puts a smile on your face  :)
http://www.youtube.com/v/j9cd0ortxu0&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 21, 2013, 11:18
One came across in my email the other day...


If your partner ever asks you if you wanted a 3some which one of her friends would you choose....never give more than one name ;D . For most of us this will never happen...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on April 24, 2013, 01:07
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ahwSmcZxBAU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ahwSmcZxBAU
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on April 25, 2013, 10:40
(http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8118/8680015992_64f40a9631.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on April 26, 2013, 14:35
Love this ad from Norton!

http://www.youtube.com/v/o-Uv5ZNk0RE&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on April 27, 2013, 20:11
(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/526501A2-9B0A-4C26-B67C-CFA23C114F69-4961-000005DE357745C3_zps7adc67d7.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: francis wu on April 27, 2013, 20:13
Haha, I have to agree that this is the best and easiest method of getting a six pack!;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: louco73 on May 31, 2013, 07:56
I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying: "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal."

Suddenly I realised how many gynaecologists' there are on the roads.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 31, 2013, 12:01
Ive seen a couple of bumper stickers of late too....


Blind driver, stay well away!


And


Driver doest give a sh!t anymore.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 31, 2013, 12:06
Trains that break down more than 5 times will be required to apply for a cheebuyuselesstrainkenabreakdownagain Licence.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: deadline on June 03, 2013, 12:45
wow thats great
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on June 06, 2013, 13:59
From a product review on Amazon UK. Cried laughing. Hilarious!

4,412 of 4,503 people found the following review helpful
 Oh the shame...., 3 July 2012
By A. ChappellThis review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 09, 2013, 00:39
(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl212.jpg)


Im told this is pretty funny
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dong on June 09, 2013, 12:22
http://poststuff6.entensity.net/060713/Great-Ad-To-Get-You-To-Learn-A-Language.php

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on June 13, 2013, 12:01
Probably the most important meeting happening now...

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/03BB8B82-C562-447A-A8FA-A330FD184F5D-19237-0000155B13DB08C9_zps641231e1.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 13, 2013, 12:13



Funny on 2 counts... the naked waitresses was already funny... but the "make you regular" was a bonus

(http://walaneh.com/xpl/xpl214.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on June 19, 2013, 20:42
Time to put on masks dudes  8)

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/AE6E6517-8BD5-4BDE-B781-C8423DBC7ACE-25451-00001BEF4C8A9DEC_zpseec1abad.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on June 21, 2013, 13:48
Just got sent this :


Today I had to go to the Lucky Plaza. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available.

The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not handicapped!"

Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry" I said. "I saw your Vote Lee Kuan  Yew bumper sticker and just assumed that you suffer from a mental disorder."

She gave me the finger and screamed some nasty names at me.

Boy! Some people don't appreciate it when you're just trying to help them out!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on June 29, 2013, 15:15
Mother knows best

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and
his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,
“I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just
roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just
to be sure." He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son.

Several days later, he received an email from
his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and
I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Love,
Mom.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on July 05, 2013, 10:50
A big  Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around  in Spain ....

While  sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking  platter being served at the next  table.
  Not only  did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked  the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter  replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent  taste!
 Those are  called Cojones de Toro, bull's  testicles
 from the  bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said,  'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter  replied, 'I am so sorry senor.
 There is  only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each  morning. If you come early and place your  order,
 we will be  sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the  cowboy returned, placed his  order,
 and that  evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.  After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter  and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller  than the ones
 I saw you  serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and  replied, 'Si, Senor.

Regrettably,  sometimes the bull  wins..
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on July 08, 2013, 19:24
Actual call center conversation

I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!)
.
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power........ A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f....king stupid to own a computer!"     

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on July 10, 2013, 09:18
erh....

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s526x296/1006200_10152992711510548_1506437280_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on July 10, 2013, 10:48
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hun_kdWVPps
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 12, 2013, 22:31
(http://arntrnassets.mediaspanonline.com/radio/n00/890685/Daft-Punk-condoms-BANG-Showbiz.jpg)

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/daft-punk-release-get-lucky-condoms-20130710 (http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/daft-punk-release-get-lucky-condoms-20130710)

(Though Durex has denied any involvement with DP)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 16, 2013, 13:54
OK Andrew and Louco and any others... can we please remove the last few posts and return to the normal funny stuff for the day them.


If you must continue to discuss the pilot names or related comment please start another thread...my pad for posting in here in the first place.


Thanks Queks for reinstating the funny stuff thread :D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: CASH on July 16, 2013, 14:03
Just got sent this :


Today I had to go to the Lucky Plaza. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available.

The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not handicapped!"

Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry" I said. "I saw your Vote Lee Kuan  Yew bumper sticker and just assumed that you suffer from a mental disorder."

She gave me the finger and screamed some nasty names at me.

Boy! Some people don't appreciate it when you're just trying to help them out!


Damn!!!!! i really like this one!! hahahaha!!!!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Gondon72 on July 21, 2013, 00:07
http://www.youtube.com/v/R7qxHTWtZN8&fs=1

This is funny....must watch till the end.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on July 21, 2013, 00:13
LOL good one bro Gondon72!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on July 22, 2013, 19:44
hmm....tinker tinker...

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p320x320/993650_10153035298830548_2080308713_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on July 23, 2013, 10:44
^^

<facepalm>

Does he seriously think his phone has an actual thermometer built into it?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 31, 2013, 20:31
http://www.youtube.com/v/q64hTNEj6KQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on August 02, 2013, 06:41
How Italians tell time

http://biggeekdad.com/2013/04/how-italians-tell-time/#.Ue0UxEZF_YY.gmail















Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 07, 2013, 07:10
http://www.youtube.com/v/p9HNbnhid9U&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on August 07, 2013, 16:27
seen on a cab in bangkok. can anyone enlighten us, what is the meaning? do not give birth in the cab? ;D ;)

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/579604_10151595063323920_1282570693_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIRTRUN on August 07, 2013, 17:24
Haha,

Missionary Position not allowed..

 ;)
D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: imcristian100600 on August 07, 2013, 18:10
thank you
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on August 15, 2013, 13:31
Man, he's really hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/v/ayH43HCw93Q&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on August 22, 2013, 12:51
At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, ``I noticed you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?``

Good question, noted the Rabbi. ``We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

OH, replied the Auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But he went on. What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?

Ah yes, replied the Rabbi, realizing the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, who every now and then send us a box of Holy biscuits."

I see, replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know it all Rabbi.

"What do you do with all the leftover foreskins?"

Here too, we do not waste, answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the IRS and about once a year they send us a complete dick"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 22, 2013, 17:08
Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors
of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son!  Now we swim around them a few times with all of our
fins showing."
And they did.

"Now we eat everybody."
  And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just
eat them all at first?   Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without all the crap inside!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on August 26, 2013, 20:38
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BSl6qcOCAAIE9g-.jpg:large)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 26, 2013, 21:21
Singapore consumers identify their favourite brands - The Straits Times wins Superbrand award (http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/singapore-consumers-identify-their-favourite-brands-20130826)

(http://i999.photobucket.com/albums/af120/surrealone/emoticons/bth_roflmao.gif)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 28, 2013, 20:26
(http://www.69jokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tlkl83jbqq.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on August 29, 2013, 21:51
http://www.youtube.com/v/zZGNk8pUj4Y&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: kelso on September 01, 2013, 10:52
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/q71/1170656_10151642215526840_2098951712_n.jpg)
who can forget that tongue *shiver*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nGeKSiCQkPw
you gave it to the cat??
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 01, 2013, 11:02
Music in the kitchen while preparing xmas dinner....old school


(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl252.jpg)
Title: LG TV pranks
Post by: Yeek on September 04, 2013, 02:38
I like this kind of marketing strategy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5moxOkuQbI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5moxOkuQbI)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf636vLep8s (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf636vLep8s)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: desray on September 04, 2013, 06:46
Yeap...I have to give it to LG for their rather "innovative" yet very "real" experience. Still recall the elevator prank? :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 04, 2013, 23:34
Our mrt not that crowded...some scary riding going on here tho...that rolling and throwing whatever it was tho that was bizarre


http://www.youtube.com/v/XOoiWqibT4M&fs=1 (http://youtu.be/XOoiWqibT4M)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: francis wu on September 09, 2013, 12:03
I find this funny though.... :)
http://www.gizchina.com/2013/09/08/knock-android-nokia-lumia-1020-costs-just-69/
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on September 18, 2013, 11:11
My same fear!

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1239809_591994427532265_450709812_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on September 18, 2013, 11:19
ROFL!   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on September 18, 2013, 11:24
oh man this post had me in stitches ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 18, 2013, 12:00
too close to the bone man...I fear more about how she work out how to use it - most of mine is DIY stuff short of disc players.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on September 18, 2013, 13:43
b3, that joke really cuts too close to home :D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on September 18, 2013, 13:56
Heh heh...I'm guilty of telling my wife that my power distributor cost less than 50 bucks
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 18, 2013, 15:39
to mine I think all the Emo amps look the same....they just keep breeding  ???
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 19, 2013, 05:34
"Would you like a doner kebab with that drink sir?" ;D

(http://31.media.tumblr.com/53f54627265f88c050b25d8aad9cb9d8/tumblr_mrdld5qX0d1rdq7h1o1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on September 19, 2013, 10:43
That would be perfect, Andrew. Just leave the cart there I'll help myself ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: blue_starfish on September 19, 2013, 15:42
Heh heh...I'm guilty of telling my wife that my power distributor cost less than 50 bucks

I tell her the price, after taking away the last "0". So to her, my cables cost $100. Ha ha
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on September 19, 2013, 15:52
You're dead.  What do you care?

Better yet, leave it all to your son, whom you've indoctrinated in the ways of audiophiledom... ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 19, 2013, 16:36
If she finds out how much you really paid then kill you already anyway
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 19, 2013, 20:05
That would be perfect, Andrew. Just leave the cart there I'll help myself ;)

Hahaha... ;D... Actually, the more I look at that picture, the more it looks like a photoshop job... I'd imagine it would violate a whole bunch of airplane safety regulations!?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on September 20, 2013, 01:09
Hahaha... ;D... Actually, the more I look at that picture, the more it looks like a photoshop job... I'd imagine it would violate a whole bunch of airplane safety regulations!?

eerrr... I never had any doubt it was a photoshop image- but I can dream isn't it?

besides, its missing the grease tray Lol!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 20, 2013, 16:41
Ok, I'm gullible that way... thought it was real ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on September 24, 2013, 09:13
Not sure where to post tis but thought it was funny! (Not for the poor guy though)


A Colombian man has reportedly had his p***s amputated after taking too much Viagra.

Gentil Ramírez Polanía, 66, was trying to impress his new girlfriend when he overdosed on the drug.

Mr Polanía suffered an erection for days, before heading to hospital where doctors found his thingy to be "inflamed and showing signs of gangrene", according local newspaper La Nacion.

Doctors were then forced to amputate Mr Polanía’s thingy in an effort to stop the gangrene from spreading.

It’s not the first time the little blue pill has made it into the headlines for the wrong reasons.

Just last week, a 25 year-old man from Yemen died from a Viagra overdose, after taking five pills at once on his wedding night.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on September 24, 2013, 16:00
Like the: diam ah siao ang moh... ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/J14Z8illxeY&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on September 24, 2013, 19:04
This is so retarded that it is good  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/itqWRHqALiU&feature=youtube_gdata_player&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on September 25, 2013, 15:50
Nice one LTA!

(http://www.mrbrown.com/.a/6a00d83451b52369e2019aff97331d970b-580wi)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on October 10, 2013, 11:05
Two Irish nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a car load of rowdy young lads pulls up alongside.

"Oi, get your tits out you penguins!" shouts one of the lads.

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata and says:-
"I don't think they know who we are, show them your cross".

So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts,
"F*ck off you little wankers, before I come over there and rip your balls off!

There, was that cross enough Mother Superior ? "
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 18, 2013, 07:25
 ;)
http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=31398940
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on October 25, 2013, 21:45
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/1385811_10151734231616589_2034134016_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on October 26, 2013, 13:54
(http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l261/REXDJ/IphoneUnderworld_zps1f632838.jpg) (http://s98.photobucket.com/user/REXDJ/media/IphoneUnderworld_zps1f632838.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 29, 2013, 10:48
(http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/1629/factcalender.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 30, 2013, 15:42
http://www.youtube.com/v/HeEWtNaW6KE&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on October 30, 2013, 17:14
Lol! v nostalgic for me Wiz
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on November 04, 2013, 22:40
Robin & Miley-David Attenborough'ed ;D

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=77785214
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on November 04, 2013, 22:56
lol
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on November 05, 2013, 00:44
Thank you, David Attenborough..... now it all makes sense.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on November 12, 2013, 08:09
Not so supar  ;D Imagine having a name like that.

A man with the unusual name of Batman Suparman was jailed on Monday for two years and nine months for theft, housebreaking and consuming heroin. District Judge Wong Choon Ning could not suppress a smile when she heard his name.

In July, Batman's elder brother, Mr Nurazman Suparman, 28, a service engineer, reported to the police that his ATM card was missing and there had been unauthorised withdrawals amounting to $650. Investigations then revealed that Batman, 23, who is jobless, had stolen the ATM card from their home in Depot Road so as to make the withdrawals.

On the night of Aug 9, he broke into the office of GF Billiards & Marketing in Depot Road. He then stole $200 from the $430 placed in a drawer, probably in the hope that the missing amount might not be noticed. That was not so. An employee checked the surveillance video footage and saw that a thief had forced open a window to enter the premises. Police were informed and the offender was arrested on Aug 19. A urine test revealed that he had also been abusing heroin.

Batman, who has his own fan club on the Facebook social networking site, has garnered 10,000 "likes" for his superhero-like name.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 12, 2013, 12:17
I think this is a posting re the same guy earlier in this thread....or at least on xpl. But I can't seem to find it ... maybe removed it as it was too personal about him.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dong on November 12, 2013, 19:07
Girl-Who-Cant-Sing-Gets-A-Reality-Check

http://poststuff6.entensity.net/111113/Girl-Who-Cant-Sing-Gets-A-Reality-Check.php (http://poststuff6.entensity.net/111113/Girl-Who-Cant-Sing-Gets-A-Reality-Check.php)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: pitch bender on November 13, 2013, 15:59
 :D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 13, 2013, 16:12
That girl who can't sing website maybe a bit risky...surprised its not blocked...not family friendly thats for sure...visit/explore at your own risk
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on November 17, 2013, 00:58
(http://i1003.photobucket.com/albums/af160/berryflooruser/Snapbucket/A368A14E_zps5c3f3e2d.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 22, 2013, 11:05

Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty quid " she whispers.  He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the heck, its only twenty quid. [So they hide in the bushes.
They're going "at it" for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden a light flashes on them, it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," Paddy answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," Paddy says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in her face.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on November 22, 2013, 21:19
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/969283_10153556586995221_1914167876_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 23, 2013, 22:35
http://www.youtube.com/v/a2SnYa2aJNo&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on November 25, 2013, 01:39
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ2RXgSIMAApfvf.jpg:large)
Woah lau ehh!!! Sibeh duaki ahh!!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on November 25, 2013, 01:41
Been using my Galaxy Note all wrong.   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Norman_Chan on November 25, 2013, 11:22
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ2RXgSIMAApfvf.jpg:large)
Woah lau ehh!!! Sibeh duaki ahh!!!

OIC...this is how to use...ha...ha...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on November 30, 2013, 00:10
http://www.youtube.com/v/CKjaFG4YN6g&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 30, 2013, 00:28
http://www.youtube.com/v/TpHagyl_VZs&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on November 30, 2013, 04:13
http://www.youtube.com/v/TpHagyl_VZs&fs=1
hahahahahaha.... wah lau ehh... although old story... still damn funny to laugh on the trolling news!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 03, 2013, 23:46
My parents are big fans of the American Pawn Stars… so this was especially funny for them ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/-y2mqoDjQXI&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on December 04, 2013, 01:50
My parents are big fans of the American Pawn Stars… so this was especially funny for them ;D

I'm a pawn stars fan too. It so happened that I watched The Internship yesterday.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on December 08, 2013, 11:11
(http://www.walaneh.com/xpl/xpl318.jpg)

Actually a real cooking show in Thailand.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on December 10, 2013, 19:42
(http://www.mrbrown.com/.a/6a00d83451b52369e2019b021da3c6970d-800wi)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 15, 2013, 06:44
http://www.youtube.com/v/ROJy9TlhxtY&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 15, 2013, 07:13
I'm a pawn stars fan too. It so happened that I watched The Internship yesterday.

Piss poor movie that was.. (I hate Google ;D)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 17, 2013, 07:23
Security Pants  ;)

http://www.youtube.com/v/SyXXZfqp12Y&fs=1

(I'd imagine there'd be a huge market demand for these in [Country deleted] ;D)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on December 20, 2013, 09:12
Since it is close to Christmas:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

 
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 03, 2014, 10:08
HIGHLY recommend hot-blooded males [Like] or [Follow] :)
http://www.facebook.com/rackoftheday (http://www.facebook.com/rackoftheday)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 04, 2014, 17:28
(https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1380171_721047054582975_1050416692_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 05, 2014, 18:35
(http://www.igetweb.com/www/mistergturntable/article/art_549591.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on January 06, 2014, 10:10
http://www.youtube.com/v/qItOblzZu2Q&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: francis wu on January 12, 2014, 17:27
A real computer nutcase! ;D
http://www.liagou.com/show/6/293.html
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on January 12, 2014, 23:49
http://www.youtube.com/v/h1uKVeM8ZKs&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 16, 2014, 07:01
Well done Owl International ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Yl4ETw-TXos&fs=1
Title: Lin CHILIN... really unsuitable for the young!
Post by: YANG on January 16, 2014, 11:18
(http://static.apple.nextmedia.com/images/e-paper/20140115/large/1389758391_6509.jpg)
(http://timg.eprice.com.hk/hk/funky/img/2014-01/16/4496/uniqlo_1_18_119c93327adbbefc83ca809b26159cd7.jpg)
(http://timg.eprice.com.hk/hk/funky/img/2014-01/16/4496/uniqlo_1_18_f38d711b5dbc2061104caf08f780350f.jpg)
已年近40的台灣名模林志玲,果然魅力沒法擋,連小學生也被迷倒。江蘇泰州市靖江一名小學生,寫電郵給市長指,當地一座商業中心外牆掛着一幅林志玲的巨型廣告,他每天經過該處,都會忍不住看着她深深的乳溝,害得他晚上經常自瀆,導致成績嚴重退步,因而想請市長幫忙。
http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/realtime/china/20140115/52092410

HK forum discussion damn funny...
Warning! Thread discussion in Canton, some sexual references may be offensive!
http://news.discuss.com.hk/viewthread.php?tid=22865979

much friendly discussion @
http://www.eprice.com.hk/fun/talk/18/4496/1/
Title: What a STEAMY KITTY!!!
Post by: YANG on January 16, 2014, 16:29
(http://timg.eprice.com.hk/hk/funky/img/2013-12/27/4448/uniqlo_1_19_e73ef7e9cb2f0129351576d759b25e6e.jpg)
Title: "KNS! Limpeh don't want to come out, CANNOT MEHH?!"
Post by: YANG on January 16, 2014, 16:38
(http://timg.eprice.com.hk/hk/funky/img/2013-12/23/4431/uniqlo_1_18_6173a27fe59dcdc1401b6e14f7758ed3.jpg)
http://www.eprice.com.hk/fun/talk/18/4431/
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 22, 2014, 12:20
(http://i835.photobucket.com/albums/zz277/ianlaver/Splurge_zpsbe3983fa.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 26, 2014, 14:05
Parking sign in Sydney...if you can figure this out you can get yr drivers license no worries mate.


(http://walaneh.com/xpl/xpl0334.jpg)
Title: Funniest picture of the day!!!!!!
Post by: YANG on January 27, 2014, 11:14
jeeze
Title: Re: Funniest picture of the day!!!!!!
Post by: AndrewC on January 27, 2014, 19:02
...

Actually, that's a doctored/fake pic from 2007… You might want to remove that post as it's rather sensitive, even as a joke… (if this was Malaysia, you'd be picked up like the Alvivi pair were :) )
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 27, 2014, 23:28
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/s403x403/64218_10152296466274041_379146608_n.jpg)
(http://usr.audioasylum.com/images/6/62136/Speaker_Out_Phase.jpg)
(http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/archives/08jun/uf011618.gif)
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qf0a6aYpmOI/T_AfA1Eu1zI/AAAAAAAAIC0/pbXKucTu74I/s1600/Need+a+Phonograph+Needle.gif)
(https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1/1535752_10152135366356648_988961753_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on January 28, 2014, 11:03
(https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1/1535752_10152135366356648_988961753_n.jpg)

Heh, really good one!

And in the "even real life is funny" section, Biebs might be facing deportation from the USA -- most people forget he's not American, but Canadian.  Now that would really be funny (getting deported from his biggest market, that is).
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on January 28, 2014, 12:45
(http://i1121.photobucket.com/albums/l511/tane0019/537902_613686511993440_689836885_n_zpsfd5c5265.jpg)

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
 FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)
 
WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
 NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE
 
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
 
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
 
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
 
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
 
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
 
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
 
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
 
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
 
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
 
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
 
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
 
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
 IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
 
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
 
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
 
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
 PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
 
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
 
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
 
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
 
1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
 
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
 
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
 
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
 
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
 
PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...
 
PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!
 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 28, 2014, 21:53
 ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/B8Wd831gUt4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: cstanxpl on February 05, 2014, 21:14
Saw this posted on WHF? forum.

http://www.youtube.com/v/3UQDTZcpsDE&fs=1

This is the before edit.

http://www.youtube.com/v/_YQR36fQ_Xc&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 06, 2014, 20:27
Wonder how much Kia paid "Morpheus" ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ob-wn52Dkmk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on February 09, 2014, 02:41
Four girls – one each from the US, Japan, Singapore and China – board a small boat to cross the strait, but a squall kicks up and threatens to swamp the boat. The ferryman tells the girls to throw things overboard to lighten the load.

The American girl takes off her jewelry and throws it overboard with “We’ve got lots of gold in the US”.

The Japanese girl throws all her electronics overboard, saying “We’ve got lots of electronic stuff in Japan”.

The Singapore girl searches and says,”We don’t have much of anything in Singapore. Oh! I know…” and throws the mainland Chinese girl overboard.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: desray on February 09, 2014, 07:44
(http://i1121.photobucket.com/albums/l511/tane0019/537902_613686511993440_689836885_n_zpsfd5c5265.jpg)

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
 FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)
 
WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
 NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE
 
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
 
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
 
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
 
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
 
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
 
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
 
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
 
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
 
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
 
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
 
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
 
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
 IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
 
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
 
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
 
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
 PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
 
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
 
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
 
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
 
1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
 
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
 
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
 
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
 
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
 
PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...
 
PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

So TRUE!!!!!


Sent from my iPad Mini using Tapatalk HD
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: HoSaybo on February 09, 2014, 18:52



Mount ih6 moo Gaza

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on February 10, 2014, 20:34
Really one helluva... ???!!
(http://timg.eprice.com.tw/tw/funky/img/2013-12/03/5243/epic520_1_18_e1c298fab16972683b3dde185647e767.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tbln on February 10, 2014, 21:14
50 Shades - the Sequel:

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward,
then backwards, forward, then backwards again......
back and forth...back and forth..... in and out..........

She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling
down the small of her back.

She was getting near to the end.

Her heart was pounding..... Her face was flushed.....

Then she moaned, softly at first, and then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted....














"Okay, Okay! I can't park the car! You do it, you smug b***ard!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on February 10, 2014, 23:58
Wonder how much Kia paid "Morpheus" ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ob-wn52Dkmk&fs=1

Wow...Kia has really come a long way. This K900 looks like the offspring of Jaguar and Lexus :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 11, 2014, 02:21
Wow...Kia has really come a long way. This K900 looks like the offspring of Jaguar and Lexus :)

My thoughts exactly!!... (But then, they're Korean, of course ripping off designs is in their DNA  ;D)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on February 11, 2014, 02:25
My thoughts exactly!!... (But then, they're Korean, of course ripping off designs is in their DNA  ;D)

lol! My thoughts exactly!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on February 12, 2014, 09:04
Got this from my PM ;D

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1/1782026_10152653144134896_1988580111_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 13, 2014, 17:07
http://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=8d0bec56d9e8 (http://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=8d0bec56d9e8)


very fast merc ... the bike is going at 299K/hr much of the time
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: econav on February 14, 2014, 20:21
A man received a message from his neighbour:
"Sorry, sir, I am using your wife. I use everyday, day and night. I use when you are not at home. Infact, I actually use more than you. I confess now because I feel very much guilt. Hope you will forgive me and accept my sincere apology. Sorry hor."
The angry man than whacked his wife until she blue-black all over.
A few minutes later he received another message: 《Sorry, sir, spelling mistake. I mean wifi, not wife.》
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on February 14, 2014, 22:59
MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
 
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
 
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
 
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
 
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
 
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A true friend is like a p_nis, he stands up for you in times of need.
A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times.
A faithful friend is like a condom , he protects you from all harm.
A loving friend is like a v_gina, she accomodates you fully despite the size of your problem.

what kind of a friend are you?
P_nis, condom, bra or v_gina friend?

Do u know that the p_nis is the greatest breakfast ever?  According to doctors it has a mushroom head, a sausage body, two eggs and milk which provides nutrients. Thus making ladies healthy and full for 9 months. Besides it has 3 good manners too.
1. Its very courteous, it stands before it performs
2. It is very emotional, it weeps during performance 
3. It is polite, it bows after performing.

Send to ladies 2 laugh and to men 2 make them happy and proud of themselves.
X rated .. Happy Valentine's Day   ;D



Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 18, 2014, 17:25
(http://gizmodo.uol.com.br/wp-content/blogs.dir/8/files/2012/01/google1.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on February 20, 2014, 17:43
hohoho...massage anyone?

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/t1/1622112_611142072269014_1539430514_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: JT on February 21, 2014, 20:12
Russia not accepting defeat unleashed its latest weapon at the Sochi olympics .... hahaha

(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/b.gif)

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on February 25, 2014, 00:27
Remember to thank everyone you know when you toast your glass! YAAAAAAAAM SENG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp_MYE0VNW8
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 08, 2014, 16:12
Cumberbatch photobombs U2  ;D

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bhw-Q68CIAAlPgi.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 11, 2014, 16:22
;D

(watch till the end)

http://www.youtube.com/v/_47uVbfzXxk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jimi on March 12, 2014, 13:29
;D

(watch till the end)

http://www.youtube.com/v/_47uVbfzXxk&fs=1

haha! He's standing too far back
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on March 17, 2014, 09:10
Placement is important...

(http://cdn.sliptalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/worst-ad-placement-fails-6.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on March 18, 2014, 13:46
;D

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/t1/1798697_724101824301654_686408072_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on March 18, 2014, 13:49
;D

(http://www.mycarforum.com/uploads/monthly_02_2014/post-71574-0-25393900-1392432449.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on March 18, 2014, 13:56
;D

An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman: Without her, man is nothing.”
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on March 19, 2014, 19:16
(http://im31.gulfup.com/Wx4M1.gif)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on March 20, 2014, 17:06
In honour of St Patrick's day a few days ago:-

SEX IN THE IRISH TRADITION

THE PREPARATION
Friday Night is very much love-night for the Irish man. Arriving back from the pub, having partaken of the traditional Irish aphrodisiac - 12 pints Guinness, and some fish and chips, his mind set on one thing - LOVE! Or as he say's himself "the ride." His lust, at fever pitch, after the sensuous excitement of a hard night's dominoes, he approaches his beloved wife, enticing her with gentle words of passion - "Any chance of me hole then love?" The good lady in question perhaps over excited by the erotic smell of Guinness or the sensuous vision of chips sticking to his chin, is at first somewhat reluctant. This coy reluctance is expressed with the flirtatious "Would ye ever fcuk off!"

FOREPLAY
Foreplay is very important indeed. This basically consists of the male, whipping off his slightly soiled Y fronts provocatively at his wife, that usually land skid-mark side down, as he approaches the bed gyrating with one hand on his hip and the other on the back of his head, singing the ancient Gaelic fertility chant "Here we go, here we go, here we go" Upon reaching the bed he comments proudly on this rampant 8 incher. This is a classic example of alcohol induced double vision.

INITIAL PROBLEMS
After 12 pints, sometimes the man's old Willie Winkie is a trifle reluctant to extend itself (literally). Impotence is very much a blow to the man's self esteem and the wife has to be very tactful. She will offer gentle and sensitive words of encouragement such as "Ye useless bastard, ye" or possibly "It never happens to the Milkman". Oral sex is a great favorite of the Irishman. He approaches his wife with a cheeky invitation, "How'd ye like to put your teeth round dis?" The woman nods willingly and points suggestively to her falsies smiling happily in a bedside tumbler. "Go on then", she says "but don't disturb me".

DOWN TO BUSINESS
Eventually the moment comes to consummate their tender love. Again alcohol induced double vision is an important factor as the man decides which of his willies to use for penetration. Sometimes in his excitement as he moves into his position he may suffer from severe premature ejaculation. A phenomenon he explains to his wife using the poetic phrase "Oh fcuk, I've shot me load." If this does occur it is essential he makes up for disappointing his wife by uttering tender and loving compliments such as, perhaps, informing her she's the nicest woman he's ever come across. An imaginative lover, the Irishman, possibly having read the woman likes to be spoken dirty to, says such things as "shite, a*rseh*le". The woman is speechless. The man is now thrusting away, his mind a kaleidoscope of jumbled erotic thoughts. The woman wonders if they should repaint the ceiling. Sometimes she utters a word of encouragement such as "Are you sure it's in?". Given his level sexual expertise the Irishman's ideal partner should be a versatile lover specializing in the faked orgasm. This takes the form of a breathless shout "Ooyah, ooyah, Big Boy." Eventually its all over. The man roles over, falls asleep and commences snoring like a pig. There's no one in the world performs quite like an Irishman - veritable prince in the kingdom of sex.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 20, 2014, 19:42
(http://im31.gulfup.com/Wx4M1.gif)

Staged?!?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Spunky on March 22, 2014, 20:25
Staged?!?

Wireless tv?  What you think?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 23, 2014, 14:54
...
Wireless tv?  What you think?

Indeed!  ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 23, 2014, 14:55
CASH.... this is right up your alley;

http://www.youtube.com/v/fPreFMuDfic&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on March 23, 2014, 15:40
CASH.... this is right up your alley;

http://www.youtube.com/v/fPreFMuDfic&fs=1

The melody is taken from one of Sinatra's live repertoire - One for my Baby and One More for the Road

He calls it the bartender song - ps Live from the Sands with Count Basie is a superb album

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJpJoYYGzjM

http://www.youtube.com/v/LJpJoYYGzjM&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on April 01, 2014, 14:13
;D

(http://www.mycarforum.com/uploads/monthly_03_2014/post-71574-0-68981100-1396000121.jpg)



(http://www.mycarforum.com/uploads/monthly_03_2014/post-61366-0-90440700-1395193773.jpeg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 01, 2014, 16:31
April Fools Day shoot ... FAIL...they nearly crack her head on the concrete...coming to a mediacrap channel near you soon no doubt.


http://www.youtube.com/v/iJcqqKqjwRA&fs=1 (http://youtu.be/iJcqqKqjwRA)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 02, 2014, 00:42
wow


http://www.youtube.com/v/TDFuSZ05Rck&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on April 04, 2014, 13:47
my wife was checking her emails and told me her password was "mickeyminniebatmanrobintomjerrylondon". i asked her why it needed to be so long. "because", she replied, "i was told it had to have at least six characters and one capital" ;D

submitted by Bob Croucher
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on April 05, 2014, 22:02
wow


http://www.youtube.com/v/TDFuSZ05Rck&fs=1

LMAO!

No wonder you posted this at this thread  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on April 05, 2014, 22:13
Pretty impressive, if I may say so. Frozen, Avengers & Furious 6  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Do42oHZKKDM&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on April 08, 2014, 18:14
;D

(http://www.mycarforum.com/uploads/monthly_04_2014/post-125624-0-23790700-1396840782.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 09, 2014, 15:47
THE HINGE
Charlie was installing a new door


And found that one of the hinges was missing.


He asked his wife Mary if she would go

To Bunnings and pick up a hinge.


Mary agreed to go.

While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer,

Her eye caught a beautiful bathroom Tap.


When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that Bath Tap?"

The manager replied, "That's a gold plated Bath Tap and the price is $3450.00.


Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive Tap.

It's certainly out of my price bracket."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.

 
From the storeroom the manager yelled.

"Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"


Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back,

"No, but I will for the Bath Tap.

....This is why you can't send women to

Bunnings.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tonedef on April 09, 2014, 16:14
Jimmy Fallon's lip sync battle with Paul Rudd. Paul is simply hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/v/4LvMeYEwWGQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on April 09, 2014, 20:51
Hun-neeeee loook!

(RDJ's a hoot! ;D)
http://www.youtube.com/v/bPNCzkTBEEs&fs=1

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 10, 2014, 11:50

Emotiva's Bart Simpson wrote .....


I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.
I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.

I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.
I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.

I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.
I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.

I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.
I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.

I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.
I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast. I will not ask about the XPR Clock, the XMC-1 or the next podcast.




hehehehe  8)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on April 11, 2014, 08:41
(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/3944DF5F-282D-482E-B4C8-5F9A3EFCC873_zpstojgs33q.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: aegis0129 on April 11, 2014, 14:21
Living up to your name.  ;D

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/man-charged-with-being/1063304.html

A Chinese national who hurt a police officer while he was held in a police lockup was charged in court on Tuesday. Bai Ting, 28, also faces a charge for being drunk and incapable of taking care of himself in a public place.

SINGAPORE: A Chinese national who hurt a police officer while he was held in a police lockup was charged in court on Tuesday.

Bai Ting, 28, also faces a charge for being drunk and incapable of taking care of himself in a public place.

Bai was found drunk at about 7pm on Sunday at Lorong 27A Geylang.

At about 9pm the same day, he bit the right forearm of Sergeant Ng Wen Chi at the lockup of Bedok Police Division Headquarters.

For being drunk and incapable of taking care of himself in a public place, Bai faces a maximum fine of $1,000 and one month's jail.

For hurting a police officer, Bai could be jailed up to seven years, caned and fined.

- CNA/de
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on April 13, 2014, 19:53
Took me a few seconds to get the Bai Ting punch line :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: danlim on April 22, 2014, 07:28
Dont understand the joke, can someone enlighten me?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on April 22, 2014, 09:04
http://www.youtube.com/v/aYpQxegxFEg&noredirect=1&fs=1

http://www.youtube.com/v/7XaUB4vP4Qk&fs=1 http://www.youtube.com/v/E9v9_NWPh_g&noredirect=1&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on April 22, 2014, 13:15
"Generic Ad" ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/2YBtspm8j8M&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on April 22, 2014, 14:05
love the generic brand video, Andrew ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on April 22, 2014, 14:16
"Generic Ad" ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/2YBtspm8j8M&fs=1


Brilliant!

And just when I was wondering where they got all the stock footage from.......
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on April 23, 2014, 08:56

The only cow in a small town in Wisconsin stopped giving milk. 
   
Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Manitoba quite
cheaply. 
   
So, they brought the cow over from Canada . 
   
It was absolutely wonderful, 
it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, 
so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. 
   
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but 
whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, 
the cow would move away. 
   
No matter what approach the bull tried, 
the cow would move away from the bull, 
and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to 
the Vet,   who was very wise, tell him what was happening and 
ask his advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. 

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. 
   
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. 
   
If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Canada ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned 
that they had brought the cow over from Canada .. 

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.







"How did you know we got the cow from Canada ?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: 

"My wife is Canadian "
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: aegis0129 on April 23, 2014, 09:22
Dont understand the joke, can someone enlighten me?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Bai Ting charged with biting police officer.  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on April 26, 2014, 20:53
A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.

Inspector : What is her height?

Husband : I never checked.

Inspector : Slim or healthy?

Husband : Not slim can be healthy.

Inspector : Colour of eyes?

Husband : Never noticed.

Inspector : Colour of hair?

Husband : Changes according to season.

Inspector : What was she wearing?

Husband : Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.

Inspector : Was she driving?

Husband : Yes.

Inspector : Tell me the number, name & colour of the car?

Husband : Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door ... and then the husband started crying ...

Inspector : Don't worry sir ... We will find your car.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on April 28, 2014, 18:20
An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst.
He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle.
It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie.

BUT this was no ordinary Genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzis.
'Vell kid,' said the genie, 'you know how it voiks. You got tree vishes.'
'I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. 'I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!'
'Vott you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a goner anyvay!'
The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie was right. 'Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink.'

* * * * * * * P O O F! * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
'Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?'
'My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams..'

 * * * * * * * P O O F !!* * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

'Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Best you should make it a good vone!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!'

* * * * * * * P O O F!!! * * * * * * * * *

He was turned into a tampon.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on April 29, 2014, 20:08
(http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l261/REXDJ/IMG-20140429-WA000_zps9f8abd95.jpg) (http://s98.photobucket.com/user/REXDJ/media/IMG-20140429-WA000_zps9f8abd95.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on April 30, 2014, 17:48
Emms is absolutely brilliant!  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/bLBSoC_2IY8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on May 05, 2014, 16:20
dunno FW tai gor got buy this in China.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1.0-9/10291763_657493837619934_8579535917685852979_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on May 06, 2014, 12:39
Heh, reminds me of the infamous Revenge of the Sith pirate version...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Knight_Rider on May 06, 2014, 15:03
Reminds me of korean drama 好象 is good elephant. 不象 is no elephant. I nearly fell off my chair.  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on May 10, 2014, 08:46
Strange disease name

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,
"What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.
"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked "What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" she asked.
"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me," she said.
"Let me guess...
Smallcox
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 20, 2014, 06:59
 ;D precisely why I loath going to the local cinemas.

http://www.youtube.com/v/uVPmM2cUFr4&fs=1

ps: Wonderfully demonstrates that Singaporeans are not without humour….  (it’s only the PAP clowns who lack any such talent ;D).
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tonedef on May 21, 2014, 05:20
http://www.youtube.com/v/fH26boHgfQw&fs=1

For a moment, I was impressed with what I thought was Jimmy's torso.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 22, 2014, 11:50
All I got away with is some small surround speakers (Bose 101's) in our kitchen. But the mrs loves them as she can hear whats going on on the TV while she is out in her ladycave (don't flame me - hmmm that wording just sounds odd, oh man cave isn't sounding that hot either) that I built for her.


(http://orion.quicksytes.com/download/file.php?id=2497)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: cstanxpl on May 27, 2014, 15:33
http://www.youtube.com/v/imW392e6XR0&fs=1

Love the ending... ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on May 27, 2014, 18:03
http://www.youtube.com/v/imW392e6XR0&fs=1

Love the ending... ;D

haha! Love Gloria!
Title: Chubby girl, Ah-lian & Beauty... which one will u choose?
Post by: YANG on May 30, 2014, 03:24
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPGL2RzWaZw
Title: HK-bu, Ah-Tiong-bu, ABC-bu... which one will you choose?
Post by: YANG on May 30, 2014, 03:26
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RiPfUvHadk
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 31, 2014, 10:26
Dear Benefits Office Manager
My name is Joe Smith and I live in Birmingham , and I would like to present before you the following story.
Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter.
After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter.
My father eventually married her without my authorization.
 

As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law.
My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's mother.
This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.
 

As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife.
Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild.
 

A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle.
My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.
In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following:
Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfil the requirements for receiving childcare benefits?
 
 
Sincerely yours,
Joe Smith.
 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 03, 2014, 07:06
The 11 types of girl you’ll meet in Singapore Clubs;  http://www.thesmartlocal.com/read/girls-in-singapore-clubs (http://www.thesmartlocal.com/read/girls-in-singapore-clubs)

Pretty spot on IMHO ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 06, 2014, 07:21
 ;D

The Thai Junta Is Using Pretty Girls in Skimpy Camo to Win Some Popularity
http://time.com/2825037/thai-thailand-coup-junta-pr-girls/ (http://time.com/2825037/thai-thailand-coup-junta-pr-girls/)

(http://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/thai-junta-pr.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on June 06, 2014, 09:12
the second and third from left look like transformers...

check out those biceps!

;D

The Thai Junta Is Using Pretty Girls in Skimpy Camo to Win Some Popularity
http://time.com/2825037/thai-thailand-coup-junta-pr-girls/ (http://time.com/2825037/thai-thailand-coup-junta-pr-girls/)

(http://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/thai-junta-pr.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: HoSaybo on June 06, 2014, 09:35
Are u sure these are "girls"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on June 06, 2014, 16:39
First time I heard Transformers being used in this sense :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 06, 2014, 23:15
The Misplaced Garden Rake

I was working in the garden this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower.

I realized that I couldn't find the rake.. I yelled up to my wife,“Where is the rake?"

She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?"

I pointed to my eye, and then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion.Then my wife wasn't sure and said "What?"

I repeated the gestures."Eye - Kneed - The Rake"My wife replied that she understands and signals back.

She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her backside, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell I could even come close to that one.

Exasperated, I went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?She replies,"Eye - Left Tit - Behind - The Bush" !!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 07, 2014, 09:44
the second and third from left look like transformers...

check out those biceps!

Hahaha…;D...  "the transformers, more than meets the eye….”. You're probably right  ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on June 17, 2014, 13:01
Guy transposes himself on video of Britney Spears's Music Video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTByHbjgz8k
http://www.youtube.com/v/FTByHbjgz8k&fs=1

Hilarity ensues :P

Is it wrong that I keep watching it? :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: louco73 on June 17, 2014, 22:39
Had to share that one on FB. It's only wrong if you are watching it, not listening to it ;).
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on June 17, 2014, 23:32
Had to share that one on FB. It's only wrong if you are watching it, not listening to it ;).

not the other way around? :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on June 22, 2014, 18:19
From Brazil.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1bG2EPGmI0
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 23, 2014, 13:31


Would You marry Again?  -   


A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....

WIFE:
"What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"


WIFE:
"Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."


WIFE:
"Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."


WIFE:
"You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)


WIFE:
"Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."


WIFE:
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"


WIFE:
"Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."


WIFE:
"Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."


WIFE:
"Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."


WIFE:
"Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."


WIFE:
"Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."


WIFE:
-- silence --

HUSBAND: "crap"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 23, 2014, 15:41
not for the faint of heart to watch

http://www.youtube.com/v/i5gK2MxGR0M&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 26, 2014, 14:14
 ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/65rIodEJtXk#t=14&fs=1

ps: Peaches & Herb must be spinning in their graves  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on July 01, 2014, 11:49
spotted in some newspaper...

(http://i.imgur.com/aUaTsAH.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 02, 2014, 06:12
;D... only from Thailand.

http://www.youtube.com/v/0TMqpapvcK4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on July 03, 2014, 00:15
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicleplease!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on July 03, 2014, 08:17
Want to know Victoria's Secret? Touch her...

http://www.lightapp.cn/auto/index/3464?channel=1&weixin.qq.com=&from=timeline&isappinstalled=0#wechat_webview_type=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on July 03, 2014, 08:56
World's fastest kungfu! 叶问 is a gu niang compared to these pussies.

http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MjM5NTAyODc2MA==&mid=203443730&idx=4&sn=8d86c30849d21fcb589b7a35c7013b82&scene=2&from=timeline&isappinstalled=0#rd

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 05, 2014, 19:20
You might like it. This is hilarious... ..even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.
Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.  Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with..... 1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took  a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10
I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven.  Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6.  He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 06, 2014, 21:41
Don’t know if this has been posted before, it's pretty funny ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/G2Rhh_4GZmU&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on July 06, 2014, 23:29
Don’t know if this has been posted before, it's pretty funny ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/G2Rhh_4GZmU&fs=1

I posted this a while back :P nicked it off mrbrown's FB feed. Still funny

found it
http://www.xtremeplace.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=127193.msg865512#msg865512
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 06, 2014, 23:38
I posted this a while back :P nicked it off mrbrown's FB feed. Still funny
...

Right! I had this nagging feeling that I saw it here before... and wasn't even that long ago!... memory fading  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 09, 2014, 00:21
(http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y462/staffpicks/Animated_GIFs/transformer.gif)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: armoury on July 09, 2014, 11:51
^^  Weird.  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  Surely Sofia Vergara is "bigger" than Emma Watson?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on July 09, 2014, 12:36
(http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/07/09/jazyqahy.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 09, 2014, 18:21
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/ortY6H5jkEw&fs=1

(If you didn’t recognise the track, its Iggy Azalea & Charli XCX’s “Fancy”)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on July 09, 2014, 20:53
(http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/07/09/jazyqahy.jpg)

The girl on the left is saving his life.... the one on the right is giving him something to live for.  ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 10, 2014, 18:27
Singapore’s NCPG Gambling Ad featured on Jimmy Fallon... and with a spoof at the end, hilarious! ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/HvhXKYJKDPM&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on July 10, 2014, 18:38

Singapore’s NCPG Gambling Ad featured on Jimmy Fallon... and with a spoof at the end, hilarious! ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/HvhXKYJKDPM&fs=1

Blocked by NBC
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 10, 2014, 18:46
Blocked by NBC

Damn! It was fine just a few minutes ago... After showing it once, Fallon spoofed it with an alternate (happy) ending that would have pissed NCPG off ;D

ps: ok, looks like mothership's covered it as well, with the vid - http://mothership.sg/2014/07/national-council-on-problem-gambling-ad-featured-on-the-tonight-show-starring-jimmy-fallon/ (http://mothership.sg/2014/07/national-council-on-problem-gambling-ad-featured-on-the-tonight-show-starring-jimmy-fallon/) -- watch it before it disappears ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on July 10, 2014, 22:08

Damn! It was fine just a few minutes ago... After showing it once, Fallon spoofed it with an alternate (happy) ending that would have pissed NCPG off ;D

ps: ok, looks like mothership's covered it as well, with the vid - http://mothership.sg/2014/07/national-council-on-problem-gambling-ad-featured-on-the-tonight-show-starring-jimmy-fallon/ (http://mothership.sg/2014/07/national-council-on-problem-gambling-ad-featured-on-the-tonight-show-starring-jimmy-fallon/) -- watch it before it disappears ;D

Hilarious
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jerms on July 11, 2014, 00:34
the full shameful shebang is glorious HD.

any ad dat can draw laughter from The Roots gets my vote.

http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/segments/8106
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 11, 2014, 17:46
For the world to see 8)...

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/NewNCPG_zps0b3eea39.png~original)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 17, 2014, 12:56
;D... by Aussie company Wicked Campervans - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wicked-Campervans/108390815870791 (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wicked-Campervans/108390815870791)

(http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1910893/thumbs/r-WICKED-CAMPERVANS-large570.jpg)

(http://images-2.drive.com.au/2013/02/07/4012288/wide-3685_4807077143259_1402725526_n-620x349.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 18, 2014, 17:31
Ive had a fun day doing science experiments with sound and water and salt.


Here is a snapshot of bending water with sound...lots of fun with a sub and a hose :D


(http://walaneh.com/xpl/xpl0384.jpg)


will post more once the final material is cleared for viewing hehehehe
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on July 22, 2014, 01:04
Probably been posted before but it is still hilarious  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/QjGk_jU6t5A&list=UU67f2Qf7FYhtoUIF4Sf29cA&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 22, 2014, 12:15
In case you haven’t already seen it… the very funny dancing video of Kim Jong-Un ;D
("Obama's sneaky kicks are hilarious!  ;D)

http://www.youtube.com/v/JUgEmezpS_E&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on July 23, 2014, 21:01
Russell Peters explains why Canada and India are never in the World Cup

http://www.youtube.com/v/dCipYFgAvrk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 30, 2014, 06:54
Russell Peters explains why Canada and India are never in the World Cup
...

Russell's one of the funniest guys ever ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 30, 2014, 06:55
(http://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t31.0-8/10553822_681714055211815_2044896068927552118_o.jpg)

(If you’re wondering… No, it’s not Stereophile's John Atkinson, this is a different guy :D)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 31, 2014, 06:34
http://www.youtube.com/v/zWFQ1uiD8LA&fs=1

Singapore has more than it's fare of such ang mos ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on August 01, 2014, 11:38
;D

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. ‘guaranteed’ weight loss program.
 
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
 
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
 
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'
 
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
 
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
 
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
 
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
 
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.
 
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
 
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs as promised.
 
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
 
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'
 
'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
 
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'
 
He lost 63 pounds that week.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 01, 2014, 12:33
(http://funnypicsplanet.com/pictures/183.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: cstanxpl on August 01, 2014, 13:12
;D

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. ‘guaranteed’ weight loss program.
.
.
He lost 63 pounds that week.

LOL...previously heard another version with similar way of losing weight!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: westendboy on August 12, 2014, 11:13
Courtesy of a bro...  ;)

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/D8F0A434-5D97-45F4-B4EB-02BBA859C9ED_zps5plhcj2y.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on August 13, 2014, 12:21
(http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/08/12/689d4842867cfde3d5b5f15676eefbc9.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: HoSaybo on August 13, 2014, 12:57
Gov is looking at the bright side........  That when u see the positive. 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 18, 2014, 21:11
Fallon’s just brilliant  ;D... this one's hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/v/2_IXD2jDbwM&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on August 18, 2014, 21:39
great one andrew!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 24, 2014, 07:46
Hahaha…. ;D  With A&F’s business tanking, they should considering switching brand names to this.

(http://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10533413_829813510397151_211500252464533804_n.jpg?oh=6c3616fbce8542a3b42dc670dd7ba68f&oe=5466B2DF&__gda__=1415728866_3bd5f335f743ddbc36baa466ca81dac4)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 31, 2014, 07:11
 ;D

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bsgz9fdIMAAYrdx.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: xiao_vin on September 05, 2014, 11:30
Hahaha…. ;D  With A&F’s business tanking, they should considering switching brand names to this.

(http://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10533413_829813510397151_211500252464533804_n.jpg?oh=6c3616fbce8542a3b42dc670dd7ba68f&oe=5466B2DF&__gda__=1415728866_3bd5f335f743ddbc36baa466ca81dac4)
where to buy this tee??
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on September 05, 2014, 11:52
strangely they look pretty good. i am banding up my hair today ;D

;D

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bsgz9fdIMAAYrdx.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on September 05, 2014, 12:15
;D

(http://www.mycarforum.com/uploads/monthly_04_2014/post-125624-0-23790700-1396840782.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 07, 2014, 09:00
where to buy this tee??

It was posted on FB somewhere actually, I forgot where exactly, do a search.

Just saw Jerm's post (http://www.xtremeplace.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=116340.msg1011161#new) on where to buy it  ;D; http://abbakonghee.bigcartel.com/products (http://abbakonghee.bigcartel.com/products)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 07, 2014, 09:01
;D

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BwqgqF1IgAEwETj.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on September 17, 2014, 11:56

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10632603_763727993662870_1601704994450596782_n.jpg?oh=be60156dde3af370a7a04919f4b44275&oe=54891794&__gda__=1419417637_22bc172cb00f9155fa4a69ca5909c160)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Norman_Chan on September 22, 2014, 17:35
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxA4xQbDcyE
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 23, 2014, 06:33
Hilarious!!...  John Oliver about the Miss America Beauty Pageant :D

http://www.youtube.com/v/bNtvZxn7uv4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 29, 2014, 18:21
Honesty the best policy? :P

(NSFW)
http://www.youtube.com/v/ldDr2QmRvck&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 05, 2014, 21:38
How often do women’s breasts get checked out? ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/8Gr1OJbidw8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on October 06, 2014, 21:11
Courtesy of a bro...  ;)

(http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss127/westendboy47/D8F0A434-5D97-45F4-B4EB-02BBA859C9ED_zps5plhcj2y.jpg)
Instead of scolding his kins for spoiling the picture... most likely the fellas will thank her!
"Thanks for making me living up to the reputation of AngMoh Dua Kee!!!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on October 30, 2014, 08:25
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this-- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dong on November 01, 2014, 16:51
Teacher asks Johnny, "What's Wrong?

Johnny: Our house is very small. Me, my mom and my dad sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, 'Johnny, are you asleep?'

I say No and he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.

Teacher: Tonight, when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer.

The following morning Johnny comes back with a severe black eye again.

Teacher: My goodness why the black eye again?

Johnny: Dad asked me if I was asleep. I shut up & kept dead still. Then my mom and dad started moving at the same time. Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically & squealing like a hyena on the bed. Then my dad asked my mom, "Are you coming?" Mom said, "Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?" Dad said Yes!

Well, they don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, "Wait for me, I'm coming too".
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on November 04, 2014, 14:11

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/1526951_873137509398084_3122246051842555556_n.jpg?oh=caa1daa24f92fe0885f1565cef86fbec&oe=54E6BE79&__gda__=1424452656_d02ef08b18dd0bd1146f53f171f36fd7)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on November 07, 2014, 22:09
tis so funny! lolx...(not related to what I'm listening now. pls dun merge it.)

http://www.youtube.com/v/WPyG5mMfaN8&fs=1

http://youtu.be/WPyG5mMfaN8
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 29, 2014, 07:13
(May be NSFW... depends on your work place ;) )

http://www.youtube.com/v/wUMHWrWwzS8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on January 08, 2015, 09:41
“A Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the North American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So, North American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the”Rowing Team Quality First Program“, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the North American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments in new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year’s racing team was outsourced to India.”
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on January 25, 2015, 12:37
This is how I listen to my system.. with feeling and emotion ... kee kee

http://www.youtube.com/v/WJNYSga0Czk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on January 30, 2015, 12:35
Apple posts record $18bn profit selling 74.5m units in 3 months  :o

(http://im.ft-static.com/content/images/33dd7725-0fba-4401-b5b9-8b492990ca4e.img)

thanks to:  ;D

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/p403x403/1506033_566061650190898_812248561710713312_n.jpg?oh=f78a31038988e0ee0c5eadbdfac7bf0d&oe=54EEF904&__gda__=1428105707_bb94b727beb3e1c44e05546788ad90a9)

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Yummyyumi on January 30, 2015, 12:57
Lmao...
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on January 31, 2015, 13:37
For a good laugh.
Hilarious
 What is the Difference between Wife & Girlfriend
Great Thought in Modified Version-

Wife is like a TV &
Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE.

Sometimes u enjoy TV, but most of the time u play with ur MOBILE.

TV is free for life,
but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky & most of the time old.!
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy & very portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable, but for the MOBILE it is often high & demanding.

TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't.

Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk & listen) but
with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)

Last but not least..!
TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do...
Take Care.


Sent from my HM NOTE 1LTEW using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: cstanxpl on January 31, 2015, 19:40
Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk & listen) but
with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)

Sent from my HM NOTE 1LTEW using Tapatalk

Now some Samsung TV can respond to voice command already... ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on February 02, 2015, 22:52
(https://scontent-b-sin.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10352738_10204855158352404_8001749618086639743_n.jpg?oh=83a95fb7094144f87cc29bcc6b0e2a37&oe=554C58AC)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on February 04, 2015, 08:29
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant.

"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to
take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

 

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So, Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.

"The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a gorgeous, young woman
bursts in so she does.  Like a bolt outta the blue she tears off her clothes, taking off
everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her
legs and shouts:

'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"

"Tunderin' Lord Jesus, Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 06, 2015, 15:50


Blonde at the Superbowl
Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one the best

because it makes football sense!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you
mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for
the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get
the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm
like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: spells on February 06, 2015, 16:02

Blonde at the Superbowl
Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one the best

because it makes football sense!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you
mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for
the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get
the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm
like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"


hahaha nice one wizardofoz
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on February 10, 2015, 12:22
(http://www.u2france.com/actu/local/cache-vignettes/L346xH432/bono-still-h4c57-bebe7.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on February 10, 2015, 13:41
lmao
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Knight_Rider on February 10, 2015, 13:48
http://www.youtube.com/v/SILvPVVAhBo&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 10, 2015, 21:27
A young guy out on the town with his mates, spies the girl of his
dreams across the dance floor. Having admired her from afar, he
finally gets up the courage to talk to her. Everything goes better
than expected and she agrees to accompany him on a date the
following Saturday evening.

Saturday night, the man arrives at her house with flowers and candy.

To his surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel.

"I'm sorry...." she exclaims, I am running a bit late. Please come
in and I'll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while
I finish getting dressed. I should warn you though, they are both     
deaf mutes.

With this, she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to
her parents and promptly disappears. As you can imagine, this is a 
little uncomfortable, as both of the parents are completely silent.

Dad is sitting in his armchair watching football on TV and Mum is
busy knitting.....

After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mum jumps from her
chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her knickers and pours a glass
of water over her backside. Just as suddenly, Dad launches himself
across the room, bends her over the couch and takes her from behind.

He then sits back down in his chair and balances a match stick in
front of his eye.

The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is
shocked into disbelief. After a further ten minutes, the daughter
returns fully dressed and ready for the evening.

The date is a complete disaster with the young man completely
distracted by the on goings earlier in the living room. At the end
of the night, the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done
something wrong?"

"No, its not you....." he replied, "It's just that the strangest
thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit
shocked.

Well, 
first your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls
down her panties, and throws a glass of water over her behind. Then,               
as if that weren't enough, your Father races from his chair, leans
her over he couch and does her from behind. He then sits back down
and places a match-stick by his eye."

Oh, is that all? replies the girl.

The man can't believe her casual response.......

"Mum was simply saying, 'Are you going to get this a$$hole a drink?'



and Dad was replying, 'No, Fcuk him - I'm watching the match'."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on February 10, 2015, 21:44
wa ha ha ha good one wiz
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: ALTK on February 11, 2015, 00:33
(http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q698/ALTK84/Mobile%20Uploads/20150205_171801_zpsbarlftki_edit_1423585528617_zpsh1ad77sd.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on February 11, 2015, 13:28
clean shaven.

(http://i.imgur.com/6dG7qBJ.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on February 11, 2015, 14:54
Shaven tastier  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on February 12, 2015, 17:06
clean shaven.
Lol on my tiny iphone 4s screen is very convincing.. Had to pinch n zoom in to take a better look    :D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 14, 2015, 08:36
NSFW What women think of men's junk pics ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/F2ZnCrUvvKA&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on February 24, 2015, 11:28
(http://memeblender.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-dog-flying-helicopter.jpg)
Pilots nowadays
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on February 24, 2015, 12:35
I could have sworn I posted this earlier ;) oh well.. here it is again for throwback tuesday

Filed Under What the Fug Did I Just Watch? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJSZ1TwjcsQ

http://www.youtube.com/v/LJSZ1TwjcsQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: rambotan on February 24, 2015, 12:58
I could have sworn I posted this earlier ;) oh well.. here it is again for throwback tuesday

Filed Under What the Fug Did I Just Watch? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJSZ1TwjcsQ

http://www.youtube.com/v/LJSZ1TwjcsQ&fs=1

Yes you did, under the "Just for Laughs" thread
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on February 24, 2015, 14:37
my bad :) didn't realise there was a different thread ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Yummyyumi on February 24, 2015, 14:47
that's funny...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 24, 2015, 20:10
my bad :) didn't realise there was a different thread ;)

If you were someone else you'd probably cow-father-cow-mother about there being two threads covering the same topic  ;D ;D ;D

And here's my 2nd contribution of "funny stuff for the day"  ;)

(http://modernman.sg/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/average-asian-aging-process.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 27, 2015, 18:37
http://www.youtube.com/v/yEUXirLXFXQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on March 04, 2015, 23:53
Best Joke in Britain.................
 
4 friends (Ladies) meet 30 years after school at reunion.....
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a ferrari.
No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he build his best friend a castle.
No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.
They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.
" Oh no !! " said the Lady, he is doing good.
" Last week on his birthday he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends..." .
All the 3 Ladies fainted ....
( This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain.)

Sent from my HM NOTE 1LTE using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on March 05, 2015, 00:14
http://www.youtube.com/v/P28vzD7c0k4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: alvin1118 on March 05, 2015, 00:52
2015年、中国好老公
记者:你不怕你老公有婚外情吗?
妻子:不怕,他是玩音响的,忙得很!
记者:……那他会不会花心变坏?
妻子:不会,他事儿多,每天要改房间、换胆、换线材、没钱愁钱、有钱愁没他喜欢的唱头。
记者继续问:……你觉得这样好吗?
妻子:很好!玩音响的有点儿钱都他妈的买功放、换音箱黑胶,哪有钱找女人!
记者:……原来玩音响的,才是中国好老公啊!嘿嘿!!!我是玩音响的!!!!!本地发烧友!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: desray on March 10, 2015, 22:33
What do you see in this picture?


(http://xtremeplace.ddns.net/images/misc/brainteaser.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on March 10, 2015, 22:36
What do you see in this picture?
Horse face .. where's my prize ?  :D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: spells on March 10, 2015, 22:38
What do you see in this picture?


(http://xtremeplace.ddns.net/images/misc/brainteaser.jpg)

frog ??
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: spells on March 10, 2015, 22:40
Horse face .. where's my prize ?  :D

omg really horse face, make me stare for 15 mins @$#%@#!
hahahaha
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: desray on March 10, 2015, 22:41
frog ??

Nope...that's not what I'm looking for. :P

Pple dun google it...then no fun liao.

*hint* turn you head clockwise to 3 o'clock.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: desray on March 10, 2015, 22:42
Horse face .. where's my prize ?  :D

Haha...good!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: francis wu on March 11, 2015, 09:56
Other than a frog, it also looks like a fish head to me on the right!! :)

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: spells on March 11, 2015, 09:58
Looks like a fish head to me!

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk

Bro you think too much on curry fish head hahahaha
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on March 11, 2015, 19:01
Yeeeeehaaaaa

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.
An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 11, 2015, 19:33
Never get tired of watching the Poo-Pouri Ad ;D... Pop'ed up today when I was watching something else.

http://www.youtube.com/v/ZKLnhuzh9uY&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on March 12, 2015, 20:58
Obama, Queen Elizabeth & LHL died n went to hell. Once they reached hell, the devil greeted them & told them they could make 1 phone call back to earth while pointing to a big red pay phone.

Obama immediately rushed to the phone, called back his cabinet in US and spoke for 1 hour...after he had finished, the devil billed him USD1000. Obama outraged at the rip off finally took out his chequebook n paid the devil.
 
Next, Queen E took the opportunity to call her govt back in UK...after speaking for a good 2 hours, the devil charged her £2000. She kicked up a huge fuss but finally swiped her credit card & paid the devil.

LHL of course not wanting to miss out the action quickly also called back Istana & spoke for a lengthy 5 hours. After the marathon conversation, the devil only charged him S$100. Obama & Queen E were furious at this unfairness & demanded an explanation...the devil patiently replied, "eversince LHL took over Sg, the country has become hell, so it's considered a LOCAL CALL"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on March 24, 2015, 13:43
dunno is true.. but very funny

(http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/funny-pictures-auto-462241.jpeg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: blue_starfish on March 30, 2015, 20:19
Something funny from across the causeway. A professional lady racing driver acting like a driving school student for a prank. The reaction of the lady driving instructor is priceless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaAu4L2cl4c
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: blue_starfish on March 30, 2015, 20:21
Oops. Hyperlinking instead as easier to click on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaAu4L2cl4c (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaAu4L2cl4c)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on March 30, 2015, 20:51
Oops. Hyperlinking instead as easier to click on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaAu4L2cl4c (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaAu4L2cl4c)

Haa Haa the real fun starts at 02:00
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on March 30, 2015, 22:15
Funny man of the day.   Just act normal  ;) happens to all dudes after a golfing trip to Florida.
http://www.youtube.com/v/y-Btql4G2yE&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bean on March 30, 2015, 22:25
How audiophile should put off a fire:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152652550111433&set=vb.272599411432&type=2&theater
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 01, 2015, 00:34

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes.


Now, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men.




The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of the garden.               


Here are some extracts...


Fifty "Sheds" Of Grey


We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall.
But in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only good place for a shed.
---------------------------------------------------------
She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.” So I took her to B&Q.
---------------------------------------------------------
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other wellington.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains
and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though.
-------------------------------------------------------
“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky !” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”
--------------------------------------------------------
“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
-----------------------------------------------------------
“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder !”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua ?”
-----------------------------------------------------------
I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my
concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.
---------------------------------------------------------
“Are you sure you can take the pain ?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped.
“Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.
---------------------------------------------------------
“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”
--------------------------------------------------------
“Are you sure you want this ?” I asked. “When I’m done, you won’t be able
to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.
---------------------------------------------------------
“Punish me !” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can !”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: asus on April 01, 2015, 14:25
How Jap speak English.

https://youtu.be/fL21IloIQ_Q
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: spells on April 01, 2015, 14:44
http://www.youtube.com/v/fL21IloIQ_Q&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on April 16, 2015, 14:17



(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xat1/v/t1.0-9/11114020_802202096496343_7057316782454973634_n.jpg?oh=52e3bf5df6630aa82d8d5c00879d1c88&oe=55E5BC6F&__gda__=1436876464_f6cd5b597bccde40e9e987199425dfc0)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on April 16, 2015, 15:58
What do you see in this picture?


(http://xtremeplace.ddns.net/images/misc/brainteaser.jpg)
Hmmm... straight away look directly at this angle... I SAW A BUTT HOLE!!!
yeah... must tilt anti-clockwise, can see a horsey face... Haaaaa~~~~~
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on April 16, 2015, 17:59


(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xat1/v/t1.0-9/11114020_802202096496343_7057316782454973634_n.jpg?oh=52e3bf5df6630aa82d8d5c00879d1c88&oe=55E5BC6F&__gda__=1436876464_f6cd5b597bccde40e9e987199425dfc0)
UNBELIVABLY...
(http://cdn.mothership.sg/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/chen-tianwen-unbelievable-gif.gif)
MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 27, 2015, 10:19
http://www.youtube.com/v/TxNrizGdhtY&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on April 27, 2015, 11:13
LMAO ;) she's good
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on April 29, 2015, 13:14
(https://scontent-sin.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/v/t1.0-9/253223_534756499903410_1833994125_n.jpg?oh=dac93873271361382aeebd5502b00354&oe=55CD2C29)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 22, 2015, 01:55
http://www.youtube.com/v/9HgI6HQhRHg&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on May 25, 2015, 13:25
U wan happy ending ?  ;) ;) ;)

http://www.youtube.com/v/btheeIEDIrE&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 04, 2015, 03:33
(https://community.klipsch.com/uploads/monthly_10_2013/post-10590-13819475191456.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 25, 2015, 10:02
(http://scontent-sin1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/1607134_857977617620601_8008525583066488473_n.jpg?oh=0d4d657db6a817c42fe40c3fbca8f7f5&oe=561BB1CC)

For real! LHL’s Hubby at #7!!

A piece on ListaBuzz (by some African Media group) who apparently have no concept of beauty ;D; http://listabuzz.com/asian-beauties-meet-asias-15-most-beautiful-first-ladies/9/ (http://listabuzz.com/asian-beauties-meet-asias-15-most-beautiful-first-ladies/9/)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: rambotan on June 26, 2015, 15:58
OMG!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: DIYer Straits on July 03, 2015, 10:03
Ok, back to something more mundane. These are really very baaaaaad jokes. Enjoy.  ;D

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 03, 2015, 18:20
...
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
...

;D ;D... So thats what it's called!!… hits me everytime Lee Hsien Loong opens his mouth ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 06, 2015, 19:19
Hilarious!!! ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/v2bdgOut8R8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on July 08, 2015, 22:36
http://www.youtube.com/v/WlXp1tLxrko&fs=1

http://www.youtube.com/v/XTxmp7GBkwI&fs=1

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on July 12, 2015, 11:57


(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/11738041_10153737843711840_6269252962087342291_n.jpg?oh=db788faf9029aec5e1a97326b063f181&oe=561895A4&__gda__=1445095090_7c0a2a5a4067777961ec3da2a0b539ae)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 22, 2015, 06:15
Honest “Shot on iPhone6” commercial parody ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/uuVlkwpjN1o&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 31, 2015, 18:05
http://www.youtube.com/v/x68tEwKlifQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on August 04, 2015, 10:57
Semen has controlling power over female genes and behaviour (https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22730313-500-semen-has-controlling-power-over-female-genes-and-behaviour/)

(https://d1o50x50snmhul.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/mg22730313.500-1_800.jpg)

THERE’S more to semen than sperm. In many animals, seminal fluid alters both the bodies and sometimes even the behaviour of females. Human semen, too, triggers changes in the uterus, and might have wider effects on women, aimed at just one goal.

“It’s all about maximising the chances of the male reproducing,” says Sarah Robertson of the University of Adelaide in Australia. The effects are most striking in fruit flies: seminal fluid can make the females eat more, lay more eggs and be less receptive to other males.

Now a team led by Tracey Chapman at the University of East Anglia in Norwich, UK, has found that male fruit flies selectively alter the chemical make-up of their seminal fluid. In the presence of rivals, the males produce more seminal proteins. “It came as a real surprise,” says Chapman. “It’s a sophisticated response to the social and sexual situation.”

Some of their findings were presented at the Society for Molecular Biology and Evolution conference in Vienna, Austria, last week, including their discovery that one of these proteins is a “master regulator” of genes. Females exposed to it show a wide range of changes in gene expression.

Chapman thinks this kind of seminal signalling is widespread in the animal world. The semen of people, pigs and mice affects the female reproductive tract, and the question is whether it can also produce behavioural responses in female mammals similar to those seen in fruit flies.

There have been claims that semen can do everything from making women sleepy after sex to strengthening the emotional bond with their partner. One 2002 study, based on a survey of 300 students, even found that women whose partners did not use condoms scored lower on a measure of depression.


If that effect is real, depression in some people might be treatable with artificial-semen suppositories. Gordon Gallup of the State University of New York at Albany, who carried out the study, says a PhD student of his has replicated the finding in a survey of 1000 women, but the results were never published.

In flies, seminal proteins can directly affect behaviour because they enter the circulatory system, travelling throughout the body to the brain. “They rapidly get to many places in the female,” Chapman says.

From the female’s perspective, seminal signalling is usually nothing sinister. According to Chapman, it’s an efficient way of getting a female’s body ready to produce offspring as soon as possible.

It’s not clear whether any components of human semen get into the bloodstream, but it could be possible, particularly for small molecules like hormones, says Robertson. She has shown that seminal fluid induces expression of a range of genes in the cervix, including ones that affect the immune system, ovulation, the receptivity of the uterus lining to an embryo, and even the growth of the embryo itself.

As for seminal signalling, she thinks it’s more likely to be indirect, with semen causing the cervix to produce molecules that influence the rest of the body. Her team is studying the effect of three microRNAs – RNA fragments that affect gene expression – released by the cervix in response to semen.

Whatever the mechanism, both Chapman and Robertson say it’s plausible that semen could have effects on women well beyond their reproductive tract.

This article appeared in print under the headline “Females heed seminal signals”

http://www.youtube.com/v/GpBFOJ3R0M4&fs=1
https://youtu.be/GpBFOJ3R0M4

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 13, 2015, 12:20
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a393/3D_Dude/kk_zpsep5hrvr1.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 16, 2015, 02:06
Seen at novena sq some clueless ah beng jap cap car forget the model but was both sides. Had to post.

(http://walaneh.com/xpl/xpl0527.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on August 28, 2015, 00:11
moved to correct thread
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 05, 2015, 17:40
(In response to American "culture" of mass-murder... ;D)

http://www.youtube.com/v/WKqx9PZE8jU&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on October 05, 2015, 17:49
Xenia Sergeyevna Onatopp is real!

Heng ah, I neber met one of these during my exile in Kazakhstan...

https://www.facebook.com/DaveMahoneyDK/videos/985077731515468/

http://www.youtube.com/v/1waX3SGxYWU&fs=1
https://youtu.be/1waX3SGxYWU
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on October 06, 2015, 22:12
(http://i1121.photobucket.com/albums/l511/tane0019/IMG-20151006-WA0000_zpssbrqdnn0.jpg)

(http://i1121.photobucket.com/albums/l511/tane0019/IMG-20151006-WA0001_zpsgi4zttfy.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 19, 2015, 08:12
Movie version of 2015 vs. the real thing ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/J4LI_EqnJq8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on November 07, 2015, 07:17
;D

(http://static.damnlol.com/i/e9cab4b9b90a0139924d74eeb76ce424.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on November 08, 2015, 09:13
lol. so true.

http://www.youtube.com/v/ao7wOJ5qQ-s&fs=1
https://youtu.be/ao7wOJ5qQ-s
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on November 21, 2015, 10:47
 ;D

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/PDB_zpsgbfk5gek.jpg~original)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: cstanxpl on November 24, 2015, 08:45
Saw this in PFM forum.

http://www.youtube.com/v/OHXjxWaQs9o&fs=1

Longer version

http://www.youtube.com/v/QT8omavKIDM&fs=1‏
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on November 26, 2015, 09:51
just heartd this one liner:

A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on November 26, 2015, 09:54
;D

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/PDB_zpsgbfk5gek.jpg~original)
This is a hoax.

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/web-culture/phuc-dat-faked-it-the-man-with-awkward-name-turns-out-to-be-a-hoax-20151125-gl840w.html
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 28, 2015, 14:36
http://gawker.com/5874304/japanese-department-store-may-want-to-look-up-the-word-f'ing


(http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--BuWzY4Zn--/189rtt37cthrqjpg.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 03, 2015, 14:01
This is a hoax.
...

Yeah, pity  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 03, 2015, 14:01
In the style of that Poo-Pourri ad, (but not anywhere as good) ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/YbYWhdLO43Q&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 23, 2015, 08:03
http://us.cnn.com/2015/12/21/europe/driving-lessons-sex-netherlands/index.html (http://us.cnn.com/2015/12/21/europe/driving-lessons-sex-netherlands/index.html)
Quote
Government ministers in the Netherlands have confirmed that it is legal for driving instructors to offer lessons in exchange for sex.

Hmmm… maybe if SMRT offers free train rides in exchange for sex, they may not have any staff recruitment challenges ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 24, 2015, 07:14
Pair of smart dudes ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/vtcd6wxGwhs&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: jerome_the_lang on January 20, 2016, 08:25
this guy really can tahan all the hard knocks

https://www.facebook.com/100005216509486/videos/436627633187783/


You might get just a blank grey screen.
Just click on it to start

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: queks on January 20, 2016, 12:29
I thought I just saw a Poltergeist event or Spirit possession
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: alvin1118 on January 23, 2016, 20:20
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/12592346_1113981178612129_4425222300416125650_n.jpg?oh=58d782cafc50343fa8d2eb4d986a4f2f&oe=57037FC6&__gda__=1462902934_db33a250adb4a1596556b717990aa5ce)

who needs cable lifter ?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 23, 2016, 20:40
actually I have plans to do something like this with some of my DIY gear as a way to display it as audio art. but with real cables not just black stencils on the wall :P
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 25, 2016, 06:25

A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you!”


“Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband.


“It’s me,” says the wife. “Talking to the wine.”
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on January 25, 2016, 10:11
actually I have plans to do something like this with some of my DIY gear as a way to display it as audio art. but with real cables not just black stencils on the wall :P

That won't be good. The cable will be stressed and it will affect the sound  ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 26, 2016, 07:55
NSFW ;D

(PETA Ad)
http://www.youtube.com/v/coANMLRMirQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 04, 2016, 23:40
Try it ;D

http://trumpdonald.org (http://trumpdonald.org)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on February 05, 2016, 02:38
http://www.youtube.com/v/0oWc1zIdGE8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 09, 2016, 19:25
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/QDYQ4Bj4tmc&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 11, 2016, 19:07
(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Outlet+sex+not+mine+found+it+on+sammy+adams+twitter_e90564_3117336.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 14, 2016, 12:05
;D

Bill: “Margaret, are you concerned about performing your standup in a conservative country like Singapore?”
Margaret: “Oh yah coz I could like totally get canned…”

@6:45
http://www.youtube.com/v/QXtlVEO3rjQ&t=6m45s&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 27, 2016, 13:29
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/eh1hgjyQs0w&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 28, 2016, 02:54
amazing...look at the making of too afterwards...Not really funny but maybe the mods can figure out where to put this..feel free to move it accordingly


http://www.youtube.com/v/LWGJA9i18Co&fs=1


http://www.youtube.com/v/pnTqZ68fI7Q&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on March 05, 2016, 10:38
Cables...at the equator like we are at maybe it not going to have much effect...hahahaha


They are absolutely correct about one thing, though - cable usage in the northern hemisphere is different from in the southern hemisphere. [/size]If you use directional cables (the ones with the arrows on them) then you need to REVERSE the direction of the cables if you use them in the southern hemisphere, especially Australia.This is a proven fact; don't you notice how water flushed down a toilet swirls one way in the northern and swirls the other way in the southern hemisphere? Same thing with cables. Electrons have an easier path going one way than the other but this is reversed in the other hemisphere.Thing is, you need to know where your cable was manufactured because if your directional cable was made in the south and you live in the south then obviously the arrows are pointing the right way. Same if you live in the north and they were made in the north. It is only if your cable was made in the south and you live in the north (or vice versa) that you need to point the arrows the opposite way. Confusion enters in, though. Some really high class manufacturers like Audioquest put the arrows on based on where the cables will be sold. So they ship cables with arrows pointing one way to stores and customers in the northern hemisphere, but on the same cable the arrows point the other way for stores and customers in the south. That is why it is extremely important that you buy only factory direct or from an authorized dealer. If you buy from E-Bay or a gray market source, you don't know where that cable was made for. If you are a lucky person who happens to acquire one of these cables but aren't sure which direction it should be, then just listen and see what sounds best to you. If you are the average golden ear audiophile, most likely you will go crazy because without someone telling you what you ought to be hearing, you won't know what to think.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 05, 2016, 20:23
;D (outside a Pub in Sydney)

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/SydneyPub_zpsiyurqtqe.jpg~original)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 12, 2016, 06:37
Brilliant Apple parody from Sacha Baron Cohen for BrothersGrimsby ;D

http://amp.twimg.com/v/823f5db9-835e-43a1-9ae7-d8d4c40a0213 (http://amp.twimg.com/v/823f5db9-835e-43a1-9ae7-d8d4c40a0213)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on March 25, 2016, 08:01
Off the 'net, variation on an old joke, but funny nonetheless ;D

Quote
Khaw Boon Wan had a heart attack and died. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

Khaw thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Vivian Balakrishnan with a large butterfly net, running non-stop to catch mosquitoes. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Khaw said. "I don't think so. My heart had a by-pass and I don't think I could do that all day long."

So the devil led him to the next room. In it was Koh Poh Koon sniffing all the butts holes with his head pressed against them by the devil's minions. All he did was sniffing, time after time after time. "No, I'm not an expert at colon treatment, you already got Poh, who is the right person for the job!" Commented Khaw.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Khaw saw David Ong lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Wendy Lim, giving him blow jobs endlessly. Khaw took this in in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said "OK, Wendy, you're free to go!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on April 01, 2016, 14:01
Based on Govt's budget 2016 announcement, new GST vouchers have been issued. To check if you're eligible just follow the link http://tinyurl.com/Gst-voucher-check (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/14/95/7f1495b48ca13d837ca5600a96d764cc.jpg) and input your NRIC no. to check and submit.
Cheers!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on April 02, 2016, 08:44
“Make Any Photo Look Like an Ansel Adams Masterpiece” (a day late ;) )

http://www.youtube.com/v/YquFtGZk4-c&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 06, 2016, 00:40
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/428183_10150615520459611_1865845024_n.jpg?oh=edfee442396c61d4413a37bc96eab829&oe=57A9934E)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Tiktokape on May 09, 2016, 10:42
A tiger was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood at a distance and wished the tiger.

A cat came and climbed to the stage and danced, then extended his hand to wish the tiger.

The tiger roared in rage and said "how dare you come on the stage? Even the panther is maintaining its distance and yet you climbed the stage."

The cat replied and after listening to what the cat said, the tiger fainted. What do you think the cat said to the tiger?




The cat said, "I was also a tiger before I got married".
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on May 09, 2016, 11:08
Lol
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 14, 2016, 08:08
OMG… right out of Jackass :o

http://www.youtube.com/v/3prUZAfBmO8&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 09, 2016, 17:32
http://www.youtube.com/v/wYNzXJPu6_g&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 09, 2016, 17:35
https://www.facebook.com/mariabamford/videos/1754988954716222/

 ;D ;D ;D.. WTF!?
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on June 25, 2016, 11:33









NORWEGIAN VIRGIN




Olof Swenson, out in his pasture in Northern
Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground.



As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.

He : “How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon
next veek and my fiance Lena is still a Virgin - in every vay.”


The doctor told him” “Olof, I'll have to put
your willy in a splint to let it heal &
keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on dere as long as you can.”


He took four tongue depressors & formed a neat little 4 sided splint & taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.
 
Olof mentioned none of this to Lena, married her & they went on their honeymoon to Duluth .
That night in the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.
 
She said: “Olof..you're the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.”

 
Olof immediately dropped his pants & replied:

 
“Look at dis Lena ......still in DA CRATE!”
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 29, 2016, 20:53
(in relation to Boris Johnson and the BRExit)

;D ;D ;D

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/ClufOtNWIAIWaLg.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: pschia on July 02, 2016, 23:35
Brexit jokes:

Joke 1 : There is a new slimming product in town. It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds.

Joke 2 : EU has some free space now, exactly 1 GB.

Joke 3 : The English language will have only 3 vowels now: *a, i ,o*
              having exited *e u*
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on August 17, 2016, 23:38
http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-comics-shanghai-tango/


Very clever comic strips


(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/funny-comics-shanghai-tango-7-57b1bd51cd5a1__605.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 18, 2016, 05:51
Weirdest instant noodles Ad EVER ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5BVDfHnGvE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5BVDfHnGvE)

http://www.youtube.com/v/P5BVDfHnGvE&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on August 22, 2016, 21:45
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160822/a3dccf40e3c117e9218d78ee99bf7eed.jpg)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on August 22, 2016, 21:46
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160822/89944eb87b55394ab2d424a3991afa62.jpg)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on August 22, 2016, 21:55
Humorous description of seven stages of Life.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on August 22, 2016, 21:56
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160822/619cfa6ffd509defc713fd9e3fe74fbb.jpg)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dong on August 25, 2016, 15:21
A black kid and his father are on an airplane

The plane suddenly starts to lose altitude and the captain made an announcement.

"Attention passengers. Due to an engine failure we are forced we were forced to dump all your baggage to lighten the plane. Unfortunately the plane is still too heavy so we have no chocie but to start throwing out passengers by alphabetical order until the plane is light enough. We will start with the A's. Will all African Americans please jump out of the plane."

The little boy starts getting up but his dad stopps him. "We are not African Americans."

Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy. We must move to the B's. Will all blacks please jump out of the plane."

The boy starts getting up but his dad stops him again. "No son we are not black."

Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy, we must now move to the C's. Will all colored people please jump out the plane."

Again the boy starts getting up but his dad stops him. "No son were not colored." "But dad, if we're not African American, black, or colored, what are we?" "Son, today we're niggers and we sure as hell aint jumping before the Mexicans!"
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on August 30, 2016, 16:52
 :) (more interesting than funny though  :P)

http://www.youtube.com/v/rZsTN_yi-rw&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on September 02, 2016, 15:20
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160902/5e3d5e5e7b6366e57789c33bea02fefe.jpg)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 02, 2016, 15:56
Luckiest dog on the planet.


http://www.youtube.com/v/nKl8D-0gOhg&feature=youtu.be&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 03, 2016, 08:55
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/lledKFYeEnI&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 08, 2016, 07:37
 ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/f61Q2lDpykQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on September 08, 2016, 17:24
https://vimeo.com/181911176 (https://vimeo.com/181911176)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 12, 2016, 20:16
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/X7hxa-UUlSU&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 27, 2016, 06:20
;D  ;D  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/JgQVj4iMm8Y&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 29, 2016, 09:51

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"


Little Johnny: "None."


Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"


Little Johnny: "None."


Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"


Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."


Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."


Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"


Teacher: "Sure."


Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"


Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."


Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on September 29, 2016, 21:43
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160929/003937b49bbeb1160a01f30e573fbdca.jpg)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 04, 2016, 22:31
;D... (an unfortunate current reality more than a joke perhaps)

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/BvsF_zps0ezj0jyj.jpg~original)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: whyeme on October 05, 2016, 10:03
Haha yeah even some rap artists write better lyrics
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on October 06, 2016, 21:59
http://www.youtube.com/v/lSd3BuHVG6w&fs=1

AMDK - where got.   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 07, 2016, 06:20
 ;D
http://www.youtube.com/v/EHWB5R81Qq4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on October 11, 2016, 19:13
not bad editing.

http://www.youtube.com/v/nKyO51BjgKM&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 12, 2016, 11:10
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5715tb/reconnect_me/?st=IU6BXA4K&sh=bc83d9b1

(http://i.imgur.com/soI6jHJ.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on October 20, 2016, 13:56
(https://scontent.ford1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14656304_1150372468390327_9103222091759425196_n.jpg?oh=c5f0293a8302e147f7c9edd0ba504fcd&oe=5894438A)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 26, 2016, 08:46
https://www.reach.gov.sg/participate/discussion-forum/2016/10/23/most-agree-with-elected-presidency-changes (https://www.reach.gov.sg/participate/discussion-forum/2016/10/23/most-agree-with-elected-presidency-changes)

(http://media0.giphy.com/media/l3vReL7vUOUzyFQju/200.gif#3)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on November 07, 2016, 19:11
Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the connections that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die.'

My wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me proceeded to disconnect the Cable tv, DVD, then the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, rum, Gin, Vodka the Beer from the fridge...

I ALMOST DIED!!

Moral : Think before you speak. The female brain works on a different wavelength!                               

Source: Reader's Digest
A Classic example of: Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: MC_Hammer on November 16, 2016, 00:17
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v610/Sniper888/Trump%20voters_zps2mqw3ijd.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/Sniper888/media/Trump%20voters_zps2mqw3ijd.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 16, 2016, 06:20
http://business.asiaone.com/news/singapore-no-tax-haven-govt-experts-here (http://business.asiaone.com/news/singapore-no-tax-haven-govt-experts-here)

Quote
A Singapore Ministry of Finance (MOF) spokesman said: "Singapore's tax policies are designed to support substantive economic activities in order to create skilled jobs and build new and enduring capabilities in Singapore.

"We do not condone any tax evasion activities or actions aimed at base erosion and profit shifting (Beps). Singapore is able to keep the headline corporate tax rate competitive at 17 per cent because we are fiscally prudent and have a diversified tax base."

(http://media0.giphy.com/media/KiaU2EUyxjQB2/200.gif#65)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 17, 2016, 07:51
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/dFTUG6z-9-4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 18, 2016, 18:06
Hahahaha…;D SNL was just bloody hilarious!! :)

http://www.youtube.com/v/3Ar80sFzViw&fs=1

http://www.youtube.com/v/IAhF8tPqafQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 20, 2016, 05:49
;D

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/StarWarsComic_zpsarjktr1g.jpg~original)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on December 26, 2016, 21:43

Police subdue wild boar at Hong Kong airport restricted area (http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/health-environment/article/2056073/police-subdue-wild-boar-hong-kong-airport)

(https://scontent-sin6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15697227_738984309590916_4517927293302699378_n.jpg?oh=62890518c3eb1d829d6e2c71b087ca08&oe=58E2A81A)

(https://scontent-sin6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15698043_738984316257582_8849815028250541816_n.jpg?oh=7ec9b42313ea7b28593c34693cdbebf9&oe=58E56A12)

(https://scontent-sin6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15622702_738984329590914_1153728991221291968_n.jpg?oh=d5e70c6145f859b4d7a04bcd4b548185&oe=58E2ED08)

Note: last pic is photoshopped. No animals are hurt. The adult male was later released back into the wild at an unspecified suburban location.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 01, 2017, 01:45
More comedy than reality  :P

http://www.youtube.com/v/Uma-qFjteUs&fs=1

ps: Is he trying to kiss up to China with that Tiong looking outfit?  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 06, 2017, 16:12
;D … The Beeb’s in trouble for this ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/4m9ab54sf2E&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on January 06, 2017, 16:17
Lmao. Real housewives of ISIS
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 11, 2017, 10:14
Kekekekek…  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/71jP7SWvR5s&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 14, 2017, 10:49
 ;D

(http://i1035.photobucket.com/albums/a436/andrewc888/China-vs-SGP_zpsyvfzd2za.png~original)

http://www.scmp.com/comment/insight-opinion/article/2061493/why-singapore-should-not-be-surprised-relations-china-have (http://www.scmp.com/comment/insight-opinion/article/2061493/why-singapore-should-not-be-surprised-relations-china-have)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on January 27, 2017, 10:07
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170127/634ee78e47e31b4109aca7cbcb179d4a.jpg)

Sent from my LG-D855 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: landis1 on January 27, 2017, 10:36
;D ;D

(http://www.funtoosh.com/f_images/calorie_counter.gif)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: domho8 on January 27, 2017, 12:09
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170127/1399e4d60b9598f3055459f2ade88e1a.jpg)

Sent from my LG-D855 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 27, 2017, 15:50
(http://walaneh.com/xpl/xpl-000129.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on January 29, 2017, 19:46
http://www.youtube.com/v/nCHctpaAQpY&fs=1 (https://youtu.be/nCHctpaAQpY)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 03, 2017, 19:22
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/wJMjn31ipyU&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 04, 2017, 19:57
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/QvxkdAWLOug&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on March 28, 2017, 14:04
you need traffic police in your stomach!
https://youtu.be/BgUe51dSncs
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: YANG on March 28, 2017, 14:07
wah lau ehh!!! dont anyhow steam hor!!!
https://youtu.be/StI317-xFWc
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 05, 2017, 09:49
Hahahahaha….. ;D

(https://scontent-sin6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/18209313_1445701908824470_1966500671446251378_o.jpg?oh=ccaf36eac7b98ac3f57d458e77e94d2f&oe=5986B667)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 15, 2017, 23:50
;D ;D ;D right out of Seinfeld

http://www.youtube.com/v/iYbuEA-Druw&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 18, 2017, 21:00
Beginning of the end for dumb Trump ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/E6LZ8G992pA&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on May 19, 2017, 01:43
http://www.youtube.com/v/i7Z6Y0YNQGg&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on May 20, 2017, 10:06
;D ;D ;D right out of Seinfeld

http://www.youtube.com/v/iYbuEA-Druw&fs=1
LMAO
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 21, 2017, 20:09
Hahahahaha… ;D ;D ;D... Bill Maher just cracks me up!!

http://www.youtube.com/v/cD1e0BNNifk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 26, 2017, 21:55
;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/n409VZ-KB8U&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 28, 2017, 08:45
 ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Qo3fT0xPeHs&fs=1  http://www.youtube.com/v/LZ8rF3ApIT0&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Brunelle on May 30, 2017, 01:45
http://www.youtube.com/v/i7Z6Y0YNQGg&fs=1
Some https://www.agilebuddy.com/lean-belly-breakthrough-review-and-results people like the Lean Belly Breakthrough.

Lol thats weird.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: TheMachinist on June 03, 2017, 18:40
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DAfwMr5XoAAhhWX.jpg)
somewhere in middle kingdom  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 10, 2017, 21:34
 :) Maher’s still going strong despite the N-word screw up last week… 

(Simply amazing! The parallels of Bill’s description of the Republican Party’s antics to that of the bloody PAP!! ;D)

http://www.youtube.com/v/ahpp27WAT2M&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on June 18, 2017, 19:27
;D (as seen on Conan) - Real Ad!

(http://www.adweek.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/smirnoff-trump-mag-2017.jpg)


Here’s a bunch more, all trolling Trump! ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/et7VkGkAEO4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on June 25, 2017, 19:14
WORLD TAEKWONDO FEDERATION = WTF  ;D ;D ;D

https://sg.yahoo.com/news/wtf-world-taekwondo-federation-rebrands-over-acronym-065558932--spt.html (https://sg.yahoo.com/news/wtf-world-taekwondo-federation-rebrands-over-acronym-065558932--spt.html)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 04, 2017, 06:24
 ;D... happy 4th of July.

http://www.youtube.com/v/7MPfG7wyflw&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 05, 2017, 17:01
(http://emotivalounge.proboards.com/attachment/download/26980)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 13, 2017, 17:10
Kekekeke ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/MFjnNNz4HWE&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on July 18, 2017, 19:40
(http://68.media.tumblr.com/d939d9c23cb5c32808112e5806c587cc/tumblr_mhmn28BXLY1s4my4eo1_1280.png)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: ysl on July 21, 2017, 10:30
Cristiano Ronaldo is in Singapore today to sign for a undisclosed club playing in the hugely popular S League.

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on July 30, 2017, 16:02
OMG! didnt know all the lyrics were these...

http://www.youtube.com/v/gU9jmWd3kKA&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: silencer13 on July 30, 2017, 16:07
lol! The Ghostbusters one was hilarious!
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on August 20, 2017, 06:52
..(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170819/1c8d8db98fd418f8aa2ba4a218d25687.jpg)

Sent from my MI MAX using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Knight_Rider on September 18, 2017, 19:13
machik tak halal
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on September 20, 2017, 08:26
;D ;D ;D Trump sings Despacito

http://www.youtube.com/v/had_EfAW7rI&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 08, 2017, 12:33
Only just caught last week’s Real Time… f’ing hilarious! ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Xze1DtXUQeU&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on October 12, 2017, 10:32
Naughty but true factsxxxxxxx

________________________________
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
________________________________
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
________________________________
Breaking news: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband....!!
________________________________
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________________
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
____________________________
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
____________________________
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the girl thinghy
____________________________
*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________________
*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________________
*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a thingy should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________________
*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
________________________________
*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake
________________________________

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 28, 2017, 05:30
 ;D ;D ;D

(https://scontent-sin6-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/22712298_1902928366400516_2548052215244698454_o.jpg?oh=da05f86142f3f25438b5f0247b68be33&oe=5A6F831E)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: francis wu on November 08, 2017, 09:28


In Singapore, majority of us live in *HURRIEDLY DESIGNED BUILDINGS (HDB)*, constantly
*UNDERGOING REMEDIAL ARCHITECTURE (URA)*.

We need to *PAY AND PAY (PAP)*. Not only do we have to pay and pay, we  *PAY UNTIL BROKE (PUB)*.

Our roads are managed by people who *PURPOSELY WANT to DIG (PWD)*.

To own a car, we need to *CUT ON ENTERTAINMENT (COE)*.
Driving on our roads, we can't afford the *EXPENSIVE ROAD POLICY (ERP)*.
The expressway is
 *CONGESTED THROUGHOUT EVERYDAY (CTE)*
If you don't own a car, you need to take the *MAD RUSH TRANSPORT (MRT)*, OR take a *SLOW BUS SERVICE (SBS)* which is run by those who require us *NOT TO USE CASH (NTUC)*.

Luckily, despite the frequent rail breakdowns, they have the *LET'S TRY AGAIN (LTA)* spirit. 

Not to worry in the end, we have  *CASH PROVIDED FUNERAL (CPF)* to leave this world with dignity.

Have a great day laughing .

Sent from the Sexy8 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on November 14, 2017, 00:22
not sure where to put this...funny yes...serious yes...damn nice way to fly.


https://www.emirates.com/SG/english/experience/our-fleet/boeing-777/gamechanger/index.aspx?utm_medium=email-skw&utm_source=sfmc&utm_campaign=gs_en-777reveal-12112017&utm_term=&utm_content=_Hero+Image&utm_pid=&utm_mid=
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 02, 2017, 08:09
Trump to Talking Heads  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/nSuregWhlWk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on December 02, 2017, 08:29
Brilliant. Once in a lifetime  ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on December 02, 2017, 08:35
love it! :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 08, 2017, 19:04
Kate’s just the best!! ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/7Nv1KoqM6vc&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 12, 2017, 20:50
ow many PAP members do you need to change a lightbulb? ;D ;D :D

Quote

--One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
--One to show a powerpoint presentation on how many other countries don’t even have light bulbs to begin with, and that Singaporeans should be happy with what they have been given due to the far-sighted policies of the Gahmen, and not complain so much.
--One to say that asking for a light bulb to be changed under the present circumstances is planting a poisonous time bomb.
--One to say that asking for a light bulb to be changed shows how soft we are compared to China and India, who are perfectly willing to work in total darkness.
--One to ask a columnist in the Gahmen-linked press to write an editorial on how brave the Gahmen is in querying the necessity of light bulbs.
--One to ask the Gahmen-linked broadcaster to do a news item on “It’s Easy to Live Without Light Bulbs”.
--One to say that the Gahmen had thought of changing the light bulb a long time ago, but due to unpublished data that only they have access to, have decided against it.
--One to suggest that people who believe that light bulbs need changing should stand for election.
--One to commence a defamation suit against the person who, by the very act of suggesting a light bulb needs changing, is sullying the reputation of the entire Cabinet and should pay them millions in damages.
--One to alert the IRAS against the person asking for the light bulb to be changed.
--One to convene a high level committee to revisit the issue of whether a light bulb actually needs changing.
--One to commence police investigations into documentarians and bloggers raising the light bulb issue.
--One to commission the Gahmen-linked film studio to make a film raising the issues of light bulb changing in a light-hearted and non-confrontational manner.
--One to urge the public to “move on” from the light bulb issue.
--One to give a multi-million dollar contract to a GLC to change the light bulb.
--One to give a multi-million dollar contract to another GLC to supply new light bulbs.
--One to ensure the union of light bulb changers falls in step with the NTUC.
--One to spend millions of dollars to take over light bulb companies in other countries
--One to confuse Singaporeans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
--One to commission a committee to rename the light bulb.
--One to rename it as “Light Bulb” after spending S$1 million on the naming committee.
--One to say that even if we have to change a lightbulb, the cost of a lightbulb is still cheaper than the UK, USA and Japan.
--One to tell everyone that it will take 56 man-year to change one light bulb, so do you still want to change the lightbulb?
--One Minister to mentor all the ministers named above, so that the ‘good values’ are passed down, as advisor.
--One Minister to serve as Senior, to lead and be seen to lead, such as overseeing the purchase of the bulb, going overseas on diplomatic trips instead of having the Prime Minister do it.
--One to blame the public for not taking care of the light bulbs so a fee will be imposed.
--One to commission NUS to research on how too much bright light harms human and their pets.
--One to implement a ELP (Electronic Lighting Pricing) to tax on people who walk under the bulb.
--One to tell the public more lights actually go to the locals (which include citizens and permanent residents), like 55%.
--One to offer shark fin soup to the old folks to make them forget about bulb-changing.
--One to put up a set up a committee and put the proposal for discussion in Parliament over the need to change a lightbub.* The proposal should cover the impact of changing light bulb on the budget, the trade balance, the Singapore dollar, the environment. ...If parliament approves the bill for light-bulb change, then additional… One to be appointed Minister of Light Bulb, one to be appointed as MiNister of State (Light Bulb), one to be appointed as 1st Deputy Minister of Light Bulb and one to be appointed as 2nd Deputy Minister of Light Bulb
--One to made it mandatory for all citizens to have their light bulbs changed as well (no CPF, cash please)
--One to instruct the relevant businesses to raise the prices of materials for making the light bulb, which in turn,, jack up the cost to change the light bulbs.
--One to implement a tight deadline for changing the light bulb, and allows the list of authorized contractors to inflate the prices by quantums during the last few days before the deadline.
--One to tell us that the cost of lightbulbs that is installed in every household is heavily subsidized (by market subsidy)
--One to peg the price of lightbulbs to the cost of oil to justify both an increase in the price of the lightbulb and the price of electricity.
--One to announce a package relief for lower income household who could not really afford lightbulbs to win votes during an election.
--One to bring the issue of the increase in the price of lightbulbs to parliament and pretend his or her indignation.
--One Prime Minister to break his word that prices of lightbulb will never see an increase in price after the election.
--One to tell the public that, the public is getting a bargain for the change of lightbulb by ministers.
--One Senior Minister to justify all the ministers good work must come with an increase in their salary.

Oooh so true :)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Octave on December 14, 2017, 01:49
JUZ FOR LAUGH(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171213/44413d53dd7bce6beecf38e9cf3b73ca.jpg)

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 18, 2017, 17:37
;D... Plenty like this in Singapore.

http://www.youtube.com/v/Uo0KjdDJr1c&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 28, 2017, 05:40
How to deal with attacks from a deranged monkey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008514125523) (a.k.a … (http://www.xtremeplace.com/yabbse/index.php?action=profile;u=10226))  ;D

Here’s what AVA (https://www.ava.gov.sg) advises;
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on February 01, 2018, 11:48
http://www.youtube.com/v/U9t-slLl30E&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 16, 2018, 08:33
Hilarious!! ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/ceVf9Bid6zc&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on February 22, 2018, 00:48
Have been wondering what the crowds were chanting about during football matches?  ;D ;D ;D

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WAU4hCBilbI
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 24, 2018, 08:04
Absolutely brilliant ad run by KFC in the UK about their ongoing troubles with fresh Chicken supply ;D

(http://i66.tinypic.com/25pn7ys.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Chowbotak on March 02, 2018, 20:43
.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180302/018e4c3e8834ee0a81d16a575867e25f.jpg)

Sent from my MI MAX using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Knight_Rider on April 02, 2018, 13:57
After run-in my toast sounded so good.  ;D

(https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2572/6926/products/toast_black_main_1200x.png?v=1522352237)

https://emotiva.com/products/xbt-1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 05, 2018, 02:16
(https://i.redd.it/z3nqasz6y8p01.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 09, 2018, 14:58
(https://s17.postimg.org/djk3sigan/071_ADFE9-1_EC6-431_B-8_F75-3_F9648230_E5_D.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on April 21, 2018, 00:59
I died laughing...almost literally


http://freakingrandom.com/he-bought-a-mini-taser-for-his-wife-and-tested-it-on-himself-get-ready-to-laugh/ (http://freakingrandom.com/he-bought-a-mini-taser-for-his-wife-and-tested-it-on-himself-get-ready-to-laugh/)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 03, 2018, 09:31
Cheesy local Ad  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/HPUDyhiOIZk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on May 11, 2018, 20:22
 ;D ;D ;D ...

http://www.youtube.com/v/N4Gr-HLM7Qk&fs=1

... might not be too long before the PAP institutes something similar in Singapore ;)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: bigtree on July 02, 2018, 19:38
lol.....lazy sleep  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/7V562sKCEl0&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 05, 2018, 10:51
;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/WofLAx--3Rg&fs=1 
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 06, 2018, 07:56
;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/Zfcx1oSakyk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 07, 2018, 09:03
;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/SP14zlGmvSQ&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 17, 2018, 06:40
Sacha [Edit] Baron Cohen making a mockery out of the Americans as usual ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/QkXeMoBPSDk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on July 22, 2018, 20:48
Absolutely hilarious pisstake of the Americans!  ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/dNF6sVurAuI&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: tane0019 on August 24, 2018, 19:02
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180824/b831325f6972d8de6b7fcabe7fabd200.jpg)

Sent from my SM-A910F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: wizardofoz on September 19, 2018, 00:17
(http://emotivalounge.proboards.com/attachment/download/32741)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on October 05, 2018, 08:32
;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/vkD_RLB0e7M&fs=1


http://www.youtube.com/v/dKXHlMK6bH4&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on November 27, 2018, 09:43
Funniest sh*t I've read all year...

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/ex-smrt-boss-desmond-kuek-opens-leadership-consultant-firm (https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/ex-smrt-boss-desmond-kuek-opens-leadership-consultant-firm)

Quote
Ex-SMRT boss Desmond Kuek opens leadership consultant firm

SINGAPORE - Former SMRT chief executive Desmond Kuek, who stepped down from the role in August, has started a leadership consultancy company with two fellow ex-military men
...

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on November 27, 2018, 11:09
It's an insult to teachers but seems true in Desmond's case:

Those who can't, teach
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: dsj88 on November 27, 2018, 11:13
  i bet he will get work from the  govt.
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on November 27, 2018, 14:48
It's an insult to teachers but seems true in Desmond's case:

Those who can't, teach

The company’s speciality…

Quote
Our specialties include Organisational Transformation, Strategy Execution, Crisis Leadership, Experential Learning, and Performance Excellence.

(https://media.giphy.com/media/iMB5g6BLc2fny/giphy.gif)

This is how he got trained...

http://www.youtube.com/v/jLE2VzZuXe8&fs=1



  i bet he will get work from the  govt.

Without a doubt!! It’s already started… Check out his participation at this symposium;

https://www.peoplemattersglobal.com/article/technology/rethinking-human-capital-to-accelerate-digital-transformation-19972 (https://www.peoplemattersglobal.com/article/technology/rethinking-human-capital-to-accelerate-digital-transformation-19972)

Quote
Rethinking human capital to accelerate digital transformation

In a compelling conversation at the HCLI’s Asian Human Capital & Leadership Symposium 2018 in Singapore, Sara Cheng, CEO, Fuji Xerox Singapore, Dato Hamidah Naziadin, Group Chief People Officer, CIMB Bank, and Desmond Kuek, Founder Genium & Co, discuss the changing business landscape in the climate of digital transformation.


And who/what is HCLI?

Quote
HCLI is a subsidiary of Temasek Management Services, which is wholly owned by Temasek Holdings (Private) Limited, and is supported by the Singapore Ministry of Manpower and the Singapore Economic Development Board.

It’s almost like the PAP is punking Singaporeans, to see how much sh*t the 70% dumbos can actually swallow!!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on November 27, 2018, 14:51
LMAO that was so good
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on December 15, 2018, 15:53
http://www.youtube.com/v/NjDCH6SiMgo&fs=1

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on January 07, 2019, 17:49
 ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/9UAUYHEP5oQ&fs=1

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 01, 2019, 10:52
Here's the real folding that Marie Kondo’s doing ;D

(http://i66.tinypic.com/mmzsm1.jpg)
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 09, 2019, 08:16
 ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/YioAD0gQQSM&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: Doggie Howser on February 09, 2019, 12:24
lol

Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 16, 2019, 11:40
Deep-fake of Trump & Mr. Bean ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/MBWue1T_irk&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on February 23, 2019, 18:34
More Aviation Gin comedy ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/_JiX65oK55M&fs=1
Title: Re: Some funny stuff for the day
Post by: AndrewC on April 07, 2019, 17:46
 ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/v/pwaf9ne_kC0&fs=1